POETRY: Weeds of Unrest

I received this passage from a faithful reader. Look over what's written from the other side of addiction and it's emotional aftermath. Her view is honest, sharp, painful, certainly a voice to those who have lived it. Salma F. writes this:

the other side of addiction

Weeds of unrest choke clear thoughts as depression springs up with ill regularity. This isn't exactly where and what I wanted to be in my life. I wonder about others - do they ever make it? The overwhelming anxiety of poor decisions cause me to think it's too late to pull my "titanic" around. I lost myself along the way - nothing is familiar to hang onto. I don't even have a place to put my clothes, we live in boxes, we live as animals. sleep- work, sleep - eat, work. He smokes and sleeps and lives for his "Greens" and uncharted life. even though I know it's him that creeps depression into our lives, I find myself blaming me. I could have changed everything with better decisions and sticking to my path. He blew through my life like a tornado. Now I don't recognize myself. I used to be ordered, confident and happy. I used to feel the hope of a future.

I have crashed from being strong to being a caretaker. I care for everything but me. I left my last relation to get away from this. Simplicity, finding life without an addict... and here am I again. Dormant gifts and talents are wasted away at work and jobs that suck me dry. Depression creeps all over and I cannot wash it off. Wholeness and beauty are faded, torn and burned by the smoke at the end of his habits.

It's an open cry with no sound, eyes with dry tears, thoughts spinning round in my head with no end. The cycle of addiction to substances overwhelms and creates in me inadequacy for NORMAL life. It's a constant drain, one day tearing apart, the next day to build only to collapse again. I feel no beauty or joy - I drudge through each day for fear someone may ask me "how am I?" Fear that I may fall apart and not recovery due the painful incidents and arguments. Holes, punches, and wicked words stay hidden. No one can know. I hate my weakness. I hate fake relationships with an addict of so many colors. I can not longer take the anger and deceit. However, as much as I hate the fakery, there is still life beneath the mask - that is what compels me to continue loving and standing by until wholeness is found.

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VIDEO: Life is a gift

Here's the bottom line: either one knows they are created with purpose and constructive design, or they believe that the value of human life is only vapor; that we are no better than dust.

This video strikes at the heart of anyone who will listen to truth: LIFE is given to us by God. He created a world which holds purpose and design to live, love and be family. Anything, anyone any religion, doctrine or political view that does not hold this truth is not worthy of following. OPEN your eyes - it's GOD WE TRUST that this country should return to.

Watch and let the words reach deep into your soul...

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LINK: FREE QUIT SMOKING INSTRUX

FREE DOWNLOAD!

Awhile ago I wrote a list of things to do other than destructive addictive activities. Today I found a link to download a free booklet about lifestyle balance and positive addictions. It's actually a site for being SMOKE FREE. The same principles apply to any other addiction... Click for the free booklet, or visit the site SMOKEFREE.Gov.

Right Click to download the booklet now HOW TO QUIT SMOKING.

http://addictshuns.blogspot.com/2008/07/list-of-alternative-things-to-do-rather.html#links
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CELEBRITY: Ryan O'Neal bites the dust

Ryan O'Neal, son charged with Meth Possession
Again a parent and child lost to the nonsense of meth. what's it going to take for the scourge of meth to be cleaned up in this country? when will EVERYONE get sick and tired of drug/alcohol abuse, what is the answer?

Of course attorney's have a lot to do with getting criminals off. It still remains the problem of our community. Seems the Hollywood crowd simply wants to skate past the "stink" of addiction...

"It's unfortunate because Ryan O'Neal didn't possess methamphetamine, doesn't use methamphetamine and it wasn't his methamphetamine," attorney Mark Werksman said. "He never should have been prosecuted for this. We intend to vigorously challenge these charges in court, where they should be dismissed."

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Bobby Unser Jr. - Still in denial?

I wonder how Bobby is? is he on the right tract to recovery or in the stage of denial or still scamming the system, friends, family and others to help him keep that addiction? I wish there were a way to contact him. if maybe all his friends who knew him when would reach out he would remember the days when life was good and find himself reaching back. BTW - he as a musician keeps that gift hidden while he plays the dangerous game of drugs and alcohol.

This post is actually the most searched one online in my blog. wouldn't it be good news to hear he is out, attending AA and working the program? who knows..... my prayers are for his x-wife, daughter, son and immediate family. don't cave into the manipulation of the addict in bobby jr. be strong like his father, but love with the forgiveness and grace that God gives.

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Turning Back to the Other Side

In April of 2006 this blog began as a place to express feeling about addicts from the view of someone who is not. I have learned so much during this time span to 2008. About addictions, co-dependency, recovery and the demise of those who don't recover. Lately it's been all about the addict. again. The other blogs, the websites the information available online, etc. have filled my need to know more. Therefore, I want to turn this back to the other side of recovery. The view of those who are involved with addicts (those who cannot live without drugs, substances, gambling, sexual deviations, etc) as opposed to those who are are not. As stated before, perhaps our addictions are to things that aren't destructive.

I am reading a book called Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself, by by Melody Beattie. It has plowed through my own imagined wellness, causing me to look deeper still for freedom from tainted behaviors and patterns of my own afflictions. It's a great read. I have put into practice things that appeal to me, and left the things that don't fit. I like this book. It's wordy at times, as she rambles through all the possibilities that a person involved with addicts might experience. That is a good thing. It is indeed a roller coaster of unimaginable emotions, exploitations, and insight into the nature of human beings.

Once recovered, we are not all that bad. In fact I thing we are new and improved- better! I have a very good friend, sister manager who puts this at the end of all her emails:

"Though no one can go back and make a brand-new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand-new ending."

Thank you Debbie - you are indeed the best of people I know....

addicts are the prodigal.. the one who gets the attention the fatted calf and forgiveness.. while the one who is straight in relation to the addict, gets the shaft. takes the responsibility and pays for the mistakes of the addict. they get the treatment which costs thousands while the straight again pays the price...there is no justice in this relation....

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Are you or someone you know struggling with addiction?
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Make a choice today.

CELEBRITY: List of Addicts

DRUG ALCOHOL REHAB Has a great article on Celebrity Addicts linked to an incomplete list of about a 100 names. It's interesting to note that many have stayed sober, others keep cycling in and out of rehab centers as if it was nothing.

There is an associate addiction blog in place since 2/2007. It has news clips about addiction and rehab.

This is an addiction blog about drug and alcohol abuse plus news and opinion concerning rehab, scientific studies and finding and other hot topics.

The website is filled with information from everything addiction: Alcohol addiction, cravings and withdrawal to Dealers, treatment, testing, celebrity addicts, recovery steps and more. There are plenty of articles on Cocaine, Crystal Meth, Heroin, Ecstasy and LSD facts and effects as well as BREAKING THE HABIT.

With all the available knowledge online surely the power of addiction can be broken.

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Be Sober, Be Healed.
Are you or someone you know struggling with addiction?
It affects everyone. Ready for a change?
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Make a choice today.

THOUGHT: Addicted to Pornography?

Excellent resource page from a Biblical view, on breaking the bonds of Pornographic Addiction. There you will find testimonies, facts about the epidemic of this problem, as well as a quiz, examination of the heart of the problem along with 10 STEPS TO FREEDOM.

Prayers, helpful ministries with web links and reading lists are all included on this one page. It can even be emailed to yourself or someone you know struggling with this addiction.

If you feel trapped in an endless cycle of lust, guilt, and broken promises, God wants to set you free! Jesus said, “The thief comes only to steal, and kill, and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and might have it abundantly” (John 10:10, NRSV). The Bible promises that the power of sin is broken by Christ as we surrender to Him (see Romans 6:1-14).

Testimony: Free After 40 Years

Here is one of several ministries around the country:

Desert Stream Ministries
Founded and directed by Andrew Comiskey, author of Pursuing Sexual Wholeness and the Living Waters program, this ministry brings the healing power of Jesus to men and women struggling with sexual and relational issues such as homosexuality, sexual addiction, and sexual abuse. Ministry groups are held throughout the U.S.
P.O. Box 17635, Anaheim, CA 92817-7635
714-779-6899
www.DesertStream.org

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CREATIVE: Expressions of Addiction

The Brief Addiction Science Information Source (BASIS), points to a Powerful website showing a Photographic Gallery of Addicts. This project has Howard J. Shaffer's signature of a knowledge and photographic works on addiction.

The Expressions of Addiction: The Many Faces of a Syndrome.

Drugging, gambling, shopping, smoking, and eating, even coffee - all regular people sharing their life experience with addiction in photos. Take the time to look at these images often pictures tell what the words cannot explain. Seeing their faces, their struggles and triumphs through the words offer a unique view into the lives of addicts. Again I'm reminded this touches us all in some way or form.

You can tell your own story at this site written or by photograph. Here's their call to action:

Have you ever experienced addiction, directly (self) or indirectly (family or significant other)?

Please tell us about it.
CLICK HERE TO PARTICIPATE

PHOTO BY Howard J. Shaffer -Miami's 5th St Gym, circa 1973. Permanent Collection, International Boxing Hall of Fame.

ABOUT Howard Shaffer’s interest in photography, art and photojournalism spans decades. During his graduate training, Shaffer worked as a freelance photographer. His success caused considerable self-reflection about his eventual career path. Ultimately, he chose a career in mental health research and treatment. Having accomplished career goals in science and academic health care (including hundreds of scholarly publications, books, and approximately 120 newspaper columns that were written for the Boston Herald), Dr. Shaffer now seeks to have a broader and more emotional impact on mental health issues in general and the addictions in particular. Howard Shaffer intends to accomplish this goal by integrating his knowledge as a clinician, scientist, and scholar with his skills as a photographer and photojournalist.

Please visit the above mentioned websites as well as become a subscriber. Working together we can turn the tide of addiction with the right information!

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UNSER SONS: Patterns of Addiction

I came across a website that is dedicated to the study of addiction in celebrities. It's sponsored by the Division on Addictions, Cambridge Health Alliance, a Harvard Medical School teaching affiliate. Since people of fame end up in the eye of media attention and their stories avidly followed by fans and the general public. Where I found this site with an article on Al Unser Jr.

In my studies I find that looking to our family of origin helps the way out of the web of addiction. What makes it all interesting is that I've been studying the life of my friend Bobby Unser Jr. who struggles with addiction and recently jailed for many things due to his Meth Addiciton. I looked at the pattern throughout his famous family, including his cousin Al Unser, Jr. I always figured that being famous put on different pressures which often resulted in some form of addiction.

One article written on June 13th on Addiction & the Humanities explores the impact of people like Al Unser Jr. on giving exposure to addiction to alcohol as well the journey to sobriety. Here is a quote about him:

Al Unser Jr., for example, has generated significant amounts of attention for LIVE outside the bottle: The story of alcoholism in America, a national multi-media campaign addressing alcohol dependence in the United States. Since joining the campaign on May 18 more than 100 news articles have been published online discussing Unser Jr., his battle with addiction, and his work with LIVE outside the bottle.

Recently I read that he he's still drinking. He wavers between the two axels of addiction and his sobriety hangs in the balance. The Cambridge Health Alliance sites another article at this site talks about Falling off the wagon many times is typical of the addictive patterns.

This website is RICH in resources. One printable card details the symptoms of addiction, and diagnostic information. It can be downloaded here: RED CARD.

Another sound byte of Addiction wisdom is an acronym The UNCOPE giving clear and simple questions about how one realizes their addiction:

The UNCOPE is a six item addiction screen. Hoffman and colleagues developed it in 1999. The UNCOPE questions are available free of charge for anyone to use and are as follows:

U - Have you spent more time drinking or using than you intended to?
N - Have you ever neglected some of your usual responsibilities because of using alcohol or drugs?
C - Have you felt you wanted or needed to cut down on your drinking or drug use?
O - Has anyone objected to your drinking or drug use?
P - Have you found yourself preoccupied with drinking or using?
E - Have you ever used alcohol or drugs to relieve emotional discomfort, such as sadness, anger, or boredom?

Click Here for more information

FINALLY...
So many of my friends who were musicians and artists ended up on drugs and some have died. So, I wonder how my friend Bobby is? I know he was jailed then let go and 11 days later back in jail for many things one of which was a failed drug test. I suppose he is still there. I long for the key to be found to open the door to sobriety for him.

My prayer is he will find the way to break the family pattern of addiction by his own choice of SOBRIETY. His entire family is celebrity in NM and nationwide. Surely that fame has contributed to addictive tendencies. Perhaps he will someday use it to help others. My prayers are still with him, his family and those touched by his spiral into addiction with hope that he finds recovery.

Join the discussion on how addiction affects all aspects of American life. Subscribe today - leave your comments. ADDICTSHUN | addictions

As well the alcohol must contribute to Al's physical abuse of his girlfriend... Read here! Time and time again he has fallen back into the mess of addiction.

James Frey: depiction of addiction?

Tonight I was thinking about A Million Little Pieces. A friend brought the topic up as she wanted to give it to someone she cares about in hopes that he would give up drinking/pot. Remember? The infamous Mr. James Frey and the explosion he caused first by his book? Only to be discovered to be a BOOK OF LIES?

So I did some Googling. I found the following blog to be the best, along with discussion about the whole ordeal. I would say that half the people still applauded his writing skill, depiction of addiction and some even stated it helped them get help for their addiction. The other half wrote him off as a liar, fraud and is sitting pretty with all the money he collected from the sales of being in the Oprah Book-club. Apparently the road is again divided between addicts and non-addicts, or co-dependents or "alanonies" ( a term found in the 12 Step chat online.)

Mr Frey still displays a pattern of behavior that fits the addict/ACOA. Lying is so typical of all addicts. It's a shame that he turned up so fraudulent. On the other hand,I applaud T.Stoddart for his commitment and strength to stay true to himself. It's apparent he never crossed the line over to bad character.

James Frey: Liar to Addicts and A-Listers
Written by T Stoddart
Published January 09, 2006

Please take the time to read T. Stoddart's commentary, plus the discussion. Here is a quote:

James did what any self delusional, attention starved person would do. He reinvented himself. Yes, it's been done before, and, sadly, it will be done again. The general public is always hungry for stories of self destructive types, who are able to pull themselves back from the brink. It's a literary car crash. No one wants to be involved, but, it doesn't stop us from slowing down to take a look at the wreckage. And kudos to him for having the audacity to keep a straight face through all of it. I know that I couldn't have done it.

And I, too, tried publishing some of my fiction, only to meet with rejection. But, unlike James, I never avoided the truth. No, I embraced the truth because we all know that the only way to overcome something is to face it head on, not hide behind more lies.

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