Thoughts: polarity pulls

It pulls in the direction to leave verses the dedication and commitment to stay.

 it's the fine line one walks with an addict. intricately woven into addictive relations hangs the balance of staying and walking away. you love. you hate. you watch while the addict bows deeply in love to the substance. never once thinking it totally selfish, self seeking and greed in it's purist format. so what is a balanced and healthy relationship? i know in my experience what isn't. i only seek some mutual something to hang onto at times. it touches so many areas of need, crossing areas of tabu as well.

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more whys...

it's enough that the addict grows and changes and learns all the lingo to be well.. 

so when they uncork and explode leaving all residue on the co-dep it's again the co-deps issue and problem for blaming for the addict.. it's a hampster wheel one cannot escape -- short of divorce. separation... whatever. despondance is a light description of how one feels in relation to an addict. it's a thin line of hate and love, hope and despair and quitting and perservance.... the co-dep also needs counselling. to unload all the anger, resentment and hatred stirred up by the addicts extremely volatile behavoirs.. there are no words to describe the deep inner woundedness or scars that form in these relationships....

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forgiveness and addiction

every one must forgive. 

as difficult as it is forgiveness is the best healer of all. no matter what the injury or wound, the addict/sinner (please click to look at the definition from original Hebrew scripture) is also one deeply wounded. as we begin to move forward with community, in our families, reaching out with understanding with the offer of forgiveness as a path of restoration.

It's judicial on both sides, a judgment of sorts, because one needs also to admit wrongdoing and hurts as well to make amends. Something most 21st century society is not familiar with. Actually, I find one TV Show that uses apologies, asking forgiveness as well as admitting mistakes and that is BROTHERS AND SISTERS on ABC. It's one of my favorite shows to watch because the relationships show reality and truth in all American Families. It's successful in showing the complex way families hang in the balance between unity and brokenness. One of the sons struggles with alcohol and drugs. He was in Iraq and came back in a cloud of confusion and into the grasp of addiction. There is one in almost every family.

substances being abused will fade with knowledge, love and forgiveness. standing in the face of abusers is not a task easily faced. it takes commitment and unfailing trust that GOD is in control and is bigger than any problem at hand.

jumping out of the circle dance of blame and into the pool of forgiveness and healing. put down the pride and defense.... right now in this present moment this is good medicine... ask for forgiveness then give it!

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More on Terry...

so now i am in albuquerque... i met with lois... terry as well. i see both sides of the coin. he gave voice to his story of the dwi. i am glad to hear and listen. perhaps i was way too judgemental. we spoke about his arrogance and tough outside during the filming... it's really not who he is. more to come laters...

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