CELEBRITY ADDICTION: David Duchovny

David Duchovny's sex disorder likened to alcoholism. 

Here's the deal. I just read this article 

I admire the fact that he admitted his problem and is getting help. even after stating this:

"I'm not a sex addict," Duchovny told Playgirl magazine in a 1997 interview. "I have never been to those meetings. It's hurtful to my family and if I was involved with a woman in a monogamous relationship, it would be hurtful to her."

DENIAL. First sign that something is wrong. Shame. Hiding.

The ...ISM's: 

Often likened to alcoholism, drug addiction or gambling, sex addiction is a form of compulsive behavior which is sending growing numbers of people into therapy but which is not formally recognized as a "diagnosable disorder" by the American Psychiatric Association...."There are a lot of people who are critical of the concept because we live in a society that tends to over medicalize and which makes every behavior, which deviates from the norm, an addiction or a disorder," Eichel said. (Dr. Steve Eichel, an addiction specialist who works in Delaware)

LOVE is still the answer. Love with guidelines. (see bottom of post)

WHAT'S THE NORM? Let's review history. Back to the garden. Back to the stone commandments. The 10 Commandments cover anything, anyone can come up with to be classified as an addiction. 

The Answers:

And God spoke all these words, saying: 'I am the LORD your God… 

The Ten Commandments:

1. ONE:  You shall have no other gods before Me. 
2. TWO:  You shall not make for yourself a carved image--any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.
3. THREE:  You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain. 
4. FOUR:  Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. 
5. FIVE: Honor your father and your mother. 
6. SIX: You shall not murder.
7. SEVEN: You shall not commit adultery. 
8. EIGHT: You shall not steal. 
9. NINE: You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. 
10. TEN: You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's.

Jesus summed it up: 

"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments" (Matthew 22:36-40)

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CELEBRITY ADDICTION: Fallen Stars of Club 27

CLUB 27

The most notable names of musicians who died at 27 on this list are:

Brian Jones, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, and Jim Morrison, Kurt Cuban

It's astonishing to read the list list of 100's of historical figures or celebrities, musicians who died by alcohol or drug related deaths.

Some interesting celebrities included: 

• Sigmund Freud/cocaine
• Ken Caminiti (Major League Baseball) Cocaine
• Max Cantor (journalist) became an addict while researching addicts
• Tommy Dorsey (bandleader) drugs
• Bobby Hatfield (Righteous Brothers) cocaine
• Frank X. Leyendecker (Illustrator/artist) drugs
• Aimee Semple McPherson (Evangelist) prescription barbiturates
• Jackson Pollock (painter) alcohol related accident

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CELEBRITY ADDICTION: Mackenzie Phillips

Yet another star with roots in 60's rock n' roll falls to stardust. 

Perhaps she never had a chance with the reports about her childhood, if you could even call it that. Isn't it ironic that the TV show that made her popular is called One Day at a Time? This phrase is something most addicts live by just to get through a day. How would you survive the following? 

Phillips has said :

"she started using marijuana and LSD when she was 12. Her father showed her how to shoot up when she was 18."

Her friend and co-star Valerie Bertinelli, herself a reformed addict, has come to Mackenzie's defense stating,

"she needs love not judgment."

I do hope Mackenzie finds love and heals her soul. someone needs to share truth and love with her, in fact fill her with it until her pain is transformed into forgiveness. I heard those words coming from my own lips as I was speaking to a friend recently about addiction. I believe it to be truth. in truth, love is the only answer or cure to "sin" or addiction. created as we are, our deepest need is love, acceptance and enduring. 

in a previous post called the patterns we form I wrote about the cycle of family patterns, how addicts beget addicts or co-dependents who hook up with more addicts and co-dependents. to me it's the same pattern since the Garden of Eden when the serpent tempted Eve, she tempted Adam, they both were ashamed, fell from grace and had Cain & Able. Cain killed Able was ashamed and tried to hide, yet was only banished when found out. History never quite gets better, but reveals this chronic pendulum swing from wicked to trying to good and back again. the sins of the fathers following up to 40 generations. so here we are...

the questions to us all: 

Why are drugs/substance/sex abuse the muse and downfall of many musicians, artists and actors? 

How are we to love others enough to stop the insanity of addiction?

WHEN WILL I BE THE ONE TO BREAK THIS PATTERN AN MAKE A NEW ONE?

NOTE: MacKenzie is now Sober after going through Dr Drew's Rehap for Celebrties. Read here

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12 Steps for Believers in Christ

Christian 12 Steps Link to Site

1. We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and dysfunctional- behaviors, that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that God, a Power greater than ourselves, could restore us to sanity and stability.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as revealed in the Bible.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as revealed in the Bible, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Scriptural 12 Steps 

Expanded Version of 1 and 7

STEP 1. We admitted that we had become powerless over alcohol or the alcoholic (the substance we had abused or the substance abuser) and that our lives were unmanageable.There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death. (Prov 14:12) For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do - this I keep on doing. (Rom 7:19) What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? (ROM 7:24)

STEP 7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings and to forgive us – believing He would remove them - and receiving His forgiveness. He who conceals his sin does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy. (Prov 28;13) Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my inequity. I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the Lord" – and you forgave the guilt of my sin. (Psl 32:5) Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

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FOOTPRINTS: Amazing Visitors!

PLEASE LEAVE YOUR FOOTPRINT 

with a comment on any of these posts. It's open to everyone to pour out their reactions and comments!

I am amazed at the people from many countries who have visited this site: Israel, Barcelona, Spain, Berlin, Canada, Dominican Republic, Netherlands and the UK. People from many states from coast to coast. it's my hope that we all communicate with each other - leave ideas and get this all in the open... as we share and open up about our secret fears, memories and life issues, we become whole and dispel the darkness with light... 

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Here is a picture I drew when feeling undone about things in my life. 

It's a creative way to express the darkness, but always with hope! life is a process in steps.

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Thought: The Patterns We Form

THE FAMILY TREE

the most revealing view one can have is to look at the family tree and the addictive/codependent tendencies passed from each generation. i grew up close to my father the alcoholic and afraid of the codependent yet dominant mother. most of my relationships both friends and dating were a reflection of either my father or mother. to this day, i seem to collect those who are addicted and need a fixer. being a middle child makes it a perfect job. i see myself in both the addict and the co-dependent but after many years of working through my childhood issues, healing my wounds, i have found a normal balance to my life. 

By the Grace of God and principles found in scriptures I have found inner peace, life and hope. Coping is something of a daily discipline to keep on going, keep on bringing this message of life and love to others... Breaking the pattern of substance, verbal and physical abuse takes great courage. thank you to K.S. for a new site to give women hope and insight... 

HOWEVER, it appears women are getting all the support and help to become whole, while men are not... My prayer is that all men will rise up again to their own manhood of strength, being provider, caring for their wives, children and families without fear.... soon!

Interesting Read about addiction: Narcissism

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Thought: Oh the Pain

the addict complains of life pain, hardship and the joy of being inebriated. it's all about not facing their own ugliness, inadequacies and fears. so they numb it. dumb it, and keep it locked inside. at the same time they blame and abuse the people closest to them with their balls of anger, frustration and depression. those balls come in the form of non-productive lifestyle, land mine temper tantrums, lack of you giving them love and attention. so we carry these balls until finally understanding it's now our problem. then they get mad that you won't play that game. this is the painful cycle day in and day out until one, stops the insanity. 

the addict is like a leech. sucking the life out of those around them even if they are quietly in depression. they live off the life of those who choose life. what don't they get about choice and free will? how can a soul be trapped so strongly into the mastery of a substance, practice or behavior? I really want to know!

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ADULT CHILDREN - all of us

all of us are affected by addiction 

Affected either by family, heritage or our own choice, we have all tasted dysfunction in some form. Again it's back to the garden, nothing has changed. Blame, shame and hiding. i recently pulled out a book ADULT CHILDREN OF DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILIES which was meant to help a friend who is discovering where their anxiety and downfalls come from. Upon reading page out loud, it hit me between the eyes. the book was about me too. i began to remember all the addicts i have collected along my life. Why? My father, his father and family...we've all been affected. I tried it for a very short year or two but escaped by the grace of GOD. My father (with no intent to dishonor him in anyway) was prisoner to the bottle. They were hidden in all corners of our house. He was a quiet withdrawn alcoholic. His past filled with abusive discipline, a few wars overseas and he drowned all those miseries into his glass of iced vodka and club soda. He didn't know any other way. To me he was and always be a hero. He is also the absent drunken father who wasn't revealed until my high school years. Even with family intervention, and a year of sobriety he was unable to kick alcohol or cigarettes.

From that family dysfunction I learned the codependent function of fixing and saving others. Reading the book caused me to realize in black & white that I too am so affected by this dysfunction, I saw myself and all the symptoms. SMACK in the face. 

This blog talks about personal experiences and observations. I know the books out there, AA and all the rest know this topic backwards and forwards - it's a wrap. it's just there is no where to write out the feelings, thoughts and pain with a hope at the end of it all to find a resemblance of wholeness.

more on this to come...

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Be Sober, Be Healed 

Are you or someone you know struggling with addiction? 

It affects everyone. Ready for a change?

Addiction Rehab is available. 

Make a choice today.