are not terms of endearment!
I learned today that certain terms are not allowed in 12 step group meetings, it's a non acceptable medical term not allowed in 12 step talk. I was sorta sideswiped!
when I mentioned co-dependency, I was immediately hushed. cause for a pause. from that point on I was mostly ignored. Oh well! So I asked what term is acceptable. Twice asked to be exact. finally a woman said alanonies... WOW, don't suppose I would ever apply that term to myself.
this woman stated she has worked the program for 52 years. So she still has the need to be in these rooms? if the steps work, then at what point one is free from the need to be involved in support groups? Is this a misguided question?
I notice several things about support groups. They all seem to thrive on each other’s sorrow, stories and issues. Most likely no one gets "better" with this thought process. Some of them actually disassociate with "normal" populations and even consider non-addict's outsiders as in "THEM". "They just don't understand us" was the comment of a man who explained the Celebrate Recovery group at a church. I walked away from that group, astonished at the total control over what can be discussed and what cannot. No interaction, just empty space between the stories. Some stories were decades old with no resolve on many of the attendee’s part.
Listening is the big thing in 12 step groups, but in the chat room all I saw was everyone writing at the same time and not really connecting or hearing deeply. Realize it was open chat and not the formal online meetings, which indeed are quite structured.
These are facts from my point of view on groups. It’s understood that AA, AL-ANON, NA, Celebrate Recovery have help millions of people put their life back together. It makes me wonder what people do to get well on the other side of 12 steps...
Guess it's time to discover all the terminology in this area of study. Oh, others complained about being labeled. I agree with that, but sometimes you need to know what you are dealing with disease or sickness wise before you can find the cure.
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