Podcast: From Impulsive Actions to Compulsive Habit

Link from my Friend Ruth:
Interesting podcast re:Neurobiological basis for addiction - "Drug Addiction: From Impulsive Actions to Compulsive Habit"
THOMAS JANES OAKLEY Lecture Institute Of Psychiatry
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Not my kid... not my family.

IMAGINE THIS:

after a sophomore at Colorado State University in Fort Collins drank herself to death, her family lamented that it was just "one mistake" that killed her. Not so, points out reporters at the Denver Post. They found the personal web site for Samantha Spady, 19, where she posted photos of herself drinking with captions such as "I was drunk" and "Drunkass me". Just before her death from a blood alcohol level of .43 percent, she posted "I'm also going to get extremely wasted this weekend." A family spokesman points out Spady was a great student and a former DARE volunteer, but still insists her death was a "terrible accident" caused by "one mistake." He admits the family had seen the web site, but hadn't seen the multiple photos of her getting drunk. (Denver Post) ...the real "one mistake", then, is not opening their eyes. reported by This is True.

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism.
Carl Jung

This morning while uploading Images to myRECOVERY.com I stumbled across SOBER COACHING YOUR TEEN. Reading through the pages, I thought of all the parents walking through the terrors of addiction with their child. How many nights they lay awake spinning, thinking and praying for answers. Parents agonizing over the behaviors of their once beloved son or daughter. Can you imagine the disappointments, dread and feelings that surface as they get the first call from the school or police? Do you suppose they flounder as to what to do?

Now it’s in your own home! It used to be something that happened to other people. So what is someone to do? Fortunately one can now go online and find thousands of sites about addiction. It’s a daunting task to sort out which are believable and which are not. It's often difficult to see whose bottom line is money from those whose heart is for sobriety/recovery and the addict's family.
Here is the gist of the Sober Coaching website:

Sober coaching is becoming educated about the disease of addiction, utilizing the resources available, such as support groups (for both us and them), avoiding enabling, and setting and enforcing boundaries.

There are excellent resources for parents on understanding addiction then coaching a teen through the stages. The SOBER COACHING angle is something to sink your teeth into. This website contains the steps to take as parent that work. Learning to coach rather than enable cuts through traditional parental knowledge. This concept prepares parents for “fight of their life” in regards to the teenager who is now abusing substances. What I like best is the support they give to anyone who visits the site. They share their knowledge for free, and in my sight it’s worth supporting with dollars and the purchase of their books.

Here are the stages of Addiction with a short definition:
Prevention Mode: All too often parents and even professionals overreact and take drastic measures when they aren’t warranted. If you are in prevention mode, there are some very good resources listed in this section for you to follow up on.
Crisis Mode: Once your teenager has been arrested, precipitated a drug crisis, or some other family crisis as a result of drug abuse or drug addiction, the rules have changed.
Sober Coaching: Exactly what do we mean by sober coaching? A sober coach helps those in recovery learn how to handle all the stressors and relapse hazards of newfound sobriety. Since addicts' lives have typically revolved for years around the maladaptive drug-using lifestyle, they need to learn how to cope with life while sober.

Here are free downloads of chapters from their books YOUNG, SOBER AND FREE and SOBER COACHING YOUR TOXIC TEEN. Other books include: ADDICTION: WHY CAN’T THEY JUST STOP? And KNOWN CURES FOR ALCHOLISM, GETTING YOUR CHILDREN SOBER.

Please order through the site so they get proceeds and support to continue their work. No blaming. Take action today. Buy the book that shows you what really works. Two tracks--one for prevention (your son or daughter is on a troubling path) and one for the young person who is clearly in crisis. A workbook that works!

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Are Drug Co's Indirectly Answerable for Addiction?

First For Fun - Create your own disease with steps on how to get rich at the same time... Makes you think twice about what is truth and what is not! So try it now:
Generate Your Own Disease

The Disease Mongering Engine is a satirical commentary on various matters we believe to be of public concern and are offered as Free Speech within the protection of the First Amendment to the US Constitution.

Now visit the origination site, a wonderful find thanks to my friend for sharing it with the intention of a fun thing to do on Friday nights! NaturalNews.com.

The NaturalNews Network is a non-profit collection of public education websites covering topics that empower individuals to make positive changes in their health, environmental sensitivity, consumer choices and informed skepticism.

Amazingly here's something else I found that pointedly goes along with this post about addiction.

Are Pharmaceutical companies indirectly responsible for all the addiction?



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THOUGHT: Positive Alternative

Learn the art of tea -
Check out the entire post on amalgamarts!

there are many choices when it comes to tea. tea leaves are black, green, white, flowered, sprinkled with flavors, tiny popped corn. and oolongs just to name a few varieties. then there are tea pots, cups and spoons all part of the lovely ritual of tea. i like my tea sweet and use plain sugar. in japan we used liquid sugar which was also excellent for iced tea. so tea is sweetened or not, filled with cream, hot or cold, in a cup with or without a handle.

my greatest pleasure was sitting with friends, sipping tea, sharing stories as we poured not only from the endless pots of tea, of our lives and ideas. to me having tea, coffee and being social is quite a lost art today. with all the social networking online it's easy to forget to take time to smell the aroma of jasmine teas, fresh brewed coffee with one another. but all isn't lost - even online one can sip tea while chatting and writing on facebook, yahoo or any other messenger.

it's simple. never forget to make it to real places with real people as the core of your socializing.

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THOUGHT: forgiveness and addiction

every one must forgive.
as difficult as it is forgiveness is the best healer of all. no matter what the injury or wound, the addict/sinner (please click to look at the definition from original Hebrew scripture) is also one deeply wounded. as we begin to move forward with community, in our families, reaching out with understanding with the offer of forgiveness as a path of restoration.

It's judicial on both sides, a judgment of sorts, because one needs also to admit wrongdoing and hurts as well to make amends. Something most 21st century society is not familiar with. Actually, I find one TV Show that uses apologies, asking forgiveness as well as admitting mistakes and that is BROTHERS AND SISTERS on ABC. It's one of my favorite shows to watch because the relationships show reality and truth in all American Families. It's successful in showing the complex way families hang in the balance between unity and brokenness.

substances being abused will fade with knowledge, love and forgiveness. standing in the face of abusers is not a task easily faced. it takes commitment and unfailing trust that GOD is in control and is bigger than any problem at hand.

jumping out of the circle dance of blame and into the pool of forgiveness and healing. put down the pride and defense.... right now in this present moment this is good medicine...


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Learning from the past

Back in May, I wrote about a friend, Terry, a repeat offender with 12 DWI's. I updated the link as the video no longer exists on KRQE's site. Symbolically it made me think - it's time to update Terry's progress in life, as well as the link deleting the video.

I talked with Terry in October on a visit back home. If the troubles of a year probation and all the junk that goes with it can teach one to turn the other way, Terry has done just that. I observed a tremendous change and polish to him. He's calm, not angry and is working the 12 Step program with a zeal I rarely see in others. His business is flourishing and life seems to be falling in place. There's something to be said about sobriety. I've always liked him regardless of his addictions. We all have them in some form or another. It's only when addictions come to full fruition and hurt others that it's had to see past the sin. Or in other words: wrong doing, error, failure, immoral acts, criminal offense or misbehavior.

Terry never lost his sense of humor, ability to learn and move on during his struggle with addiction. Nor did his faith in God. He also is involved in his musical talent a gift worth polishing. His family stayed the course with him. My friend, his ex, kept a light to "normal" life out to him. Otherwise, he may have missed the forgiveness and restoration he enjoys now. I see the light in Terry and it makes me happy to know one more didn't bite the dust!

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Are you or someone you know struggling with addiction?
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POETRY: Weeds of Unrest

I received this passage from a faithful reader. Look over what's written from the other side of addiction and it's emotional aftermath. Her view is honest, sharp, painful, certainly a voice to those who have lived it. Salma F. writes this:

the other side of addiction

Weeds of unrest choke clear thoughts as depression springs up with ill regularity. This isn't exactly where and what I wanted to be in my life. I wonder about others - do they ever make it? The overwhelming anxiety of poor decisions cause me to think it's too late to pull my "titanic" around. I lost myself along the way - nothing is familiar to hang onto. I don't even have a place to put my clothes, we live in boxes, we live as animals. sleep- work, sleep - eat, work. He smokes and sleeps and lives for his "Greens" and uncharted life. even though I know it's him that creeps depression into our lives, I find myself blaming me. I could have changed everything with better decisions and sticking to my path. He blew through my life like a tornado. Now I don't recognize myself. I used to be ordered, confident and happy. I used to feel the hope of a future.

I have crashed from being strong to being a caretaker. I care for everything but me. I left my last relation to get away from this. Simplicity, finding life without an addict... and here am I again. Dormant gifts and talents are wasted away at work and jobs that suck me dry. Depression creeps all over and I cannot wash it off. Wholeness and beauty are faded, torn and burned by the smoke at the end of his habits.

It's an open cry with no sound, eyes with dry tears, thoughts spinning round in my head with no end. The cycle of addiction to substances overwhelms and creates in me inadequacy for NORMAL life. It's a constant drain, one day tearing apart, the next day to build only to collapse again. I feel no beauty or joy - I drudge through each day for fear someone may ask me "how am I?" Fear that I may fall apart and not recovery due the painful incidents and arguments. Holes, punches, and wicked words stay hidden. No one can know. I hate my weakness. I hate fake relationships with an addict of so many colors. I can not longer take the anger and deceit. However, as much as I hate the fakery, there is still life beneath the mask - that is what compels me to continue loving and standing by until wholeness is found.

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VIDEO: Life is a gift

Here's the bottom line: either one knows they are created with purpose and constructive design, or they believe that the value of human life is only vapor; that we are no better than dust.

This video strikes at the heart of anyone who will listen to truth: LIFE is given to us by God. He created a world which holds purpose and design to live, love and be family. Anything, anyone any religion, doctrine or political view that does not hold this truth is not worthy of following. OPEN your eyes - it's GOD WE TRUST that this country should return to.

Watch and let the words reach deep into your soul...

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LINK: FREE QUIT SMOKING INSTRUX

FREE DOWNLOAD!

Awhile ago I wrote a list of things to do other than destructive addictive activities. Today I found a link to download a free booklet about lifestyle balance and positive addictions. It's actually a site for being SMOKE FREE. The same principles apply to any other addiction... Click for the free booklet, or visit the site SMOKEFREE.Gov.

Right Click to download the booklet now HOW TO QUIT SMOKING.

http://addictshuns.blogspot.com/2008/07/list-of-alternative-things-to-do-rather.html#links
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CELEBRITY: Ryan O'Neal bites the dust

Ryan O'Neal, son charged with Meth Possession
Again a parent and child lost to the nonsense of meth. what's it going to take for the scourge of meth to be cleaned up in this country? when will EVERYONE get sick and tired of drug/alcohol abuse, what is the answer?

Of course attorney's have a lot to do with getting criminals off. It still remains the problem of our community. Seems the Hollywood crowd simply wants to skate past the "stink" of addiction...

"It's unfortunate because Ryan O'Neal didn't possess methamphetamine, doesn't use methamphetamine and it wasn't his methamphetamine," attorney Mark Werksman said. "He never should have been prosecuted for this. We intend to vigorously challenge these charges in court, where they should be dismissed."

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Bobby Unser Jr. - Still in denial?

I wonder how Bobby is? is he on the right tract to recovery or in the stage of denial or still scamming the system, friends, family and others to help him keep that addiction? I wish there were a way to contact him. if maybe all his friends who knew him when would reach out he would remember the days when life was good and find himself reaching back. BTW - he as a musician keeps that gift hidden while he plays the dangerous game of drugs and alcohol.

This post is actually the most searched one online in my blog. wouldn't it be good news to hear he is out, attending AA and working the program? who knows..... my prayers are for his x-wife, daughter, son and immediate family. don't cave into the manipulation of the addict in bobby jr. be strong like his father, but love with the forgiveness and grace that God gives.

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Turning Back to the Other Side

In April of 2006 this blog began as a place to express feeling about addicts from the view of someone who is not. I have learned so much during this time span to 2008. About addictions, co-dependency, recovery and the demise of those who don't recover. Lately it's been all about the addict. again. The other blogs, the websites the information available online, etc. have filled my need to know more. Therefore, I want to turn this back to the other side of recovery. The view of those who are involved with addicts (those who cannot live without drugs, substances, gambling, sexual deviations, etc) as opposed to those who are are not. As stated before, perhaps our addictions are to things that aren't destructive.

I am reading a book called Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself, by by Melody Beattie. It has plowed through my own imagined wellness, causing me to look deeper still for freedom from tainted behaviors and patterns of my own afflictions. It's a great read. I have put into practice things that appeal to me, and left the things that don't fit. I like this book. It's wordy at times, as she rambles through all the possibilities that a person involved with addicts might experience. That is a good thing. It is indeed a roller coaster of unimaginable emotions, exploitations, and insight into the nature of human beings.

Once recovered, we are not all that bad. In fact I thing we are new and improved- better! I have a very good friend, sister manager who puts this at the end of all her emails:

"Though no one can go back and make a brand-new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand-new ending."

Thank you Debbie - you are indeed the best of people I know....

addicts are the prodigal.. the one who gets the attention the fatted calf and forgiveness.. while the one who is straight in relation to the addict, gets the shaft. takes the responsibility and pays for the mistakes of the addict. they get the treatment which costs thousands while the straight again pays the price...there is no justice in this relation....

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CELEBRITY: List of Addicts

DRUG ALCOHOL REHAB Has a great article on Celebrity Addicts linked to an incomplete list of about a 100 names. It's interesting to note that many have stayed sober, others keep cycling in and out of rehab centers as if it was nothing.

There is an associate addiction blog in place since 2/2007. It has news clips about addiction and rehab.

This is an addiction blog about drug and alcohol abuse plus news and opinion concerning rehab, scientific studies and finding and other hot topics.

The website is filled with information from everything addiction: Alcohol addiction, cravings and withdrawal to Dealers, treatment, testing, celebrity addicts, recovery steps and more. There are plenty of articles on Cocaine, Crystal Meth, Heroin, Ecstasy and LSD facts and effects as well as BREAKING THE HABIT.

With all the available knowledge online surely the power of addiction can be broken.

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THOUGHT: Addicted to Pornography?

Excellent resource page from a Biblical view, on breaking the bonds of Pornographic Addiction. There you will find testimonies, facts about the epidemic of this problem, as well as a quiz, examination of the heart of the problem along with 10 STEPS TO FREEDOM.

Prayers, helpful ministries with web links and reading lists are all included on this one page. It can even be emailed to yourself or someone you know struggling with this addiction.

If you feel trapped in an endless cycle of lust, guilt, and broken promises, God wants to set you free! Jesus said, “The thief comes only to steal, and kill, and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and might have it abundantly” (John 10:10, NRSV). The Bible promises that the power of sin is broken by Christ as we surrender to Him (see Romans 6:1-14).

Testimony: Free After 40 Years

Here is one of several ministries around the country:

Desert Stream Ministries
Founded and directed by Andrew Comiskey, author of Pursuing Sexual Wholeness and the Living Waters program, this ministry brings the healing power of Jesus to men and women struggling with sexual and relational issues such as homosexuality, sexual addiction, and sexual abuse. Ministry groups are held throughout the U.S.
P.O. Box 17635, Anaheim, CA 92817-7635
714-779-6899
www.DesertStream.org

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CREATIVE: Expressions of Addiction

The Brief Addiction Science Information Source (BASIS), points to a Powerful website showing a Photographic Gallery of Addicts. This project has Howard J. Shaffer's signature of a knowledge and photographic works on addiction.

The Expressions of Addiction: The Many Faces of a Syndrome.

Drugging, gambling, shopping, smoking, and eating, even coffee - all regular people sharing their life experience with addiction in photos. Take the time to look at these images often pictures tell what the words cannot explain. Seeing their faces, their struggles and triumphs through the words offer a unique view into the lives of addicts. Again I'm reminded this touches us all in some way or form.

You can tell your own story at this site written or by photograph. Here's their call to action:

Have you ever experienced addiction, directly (self) or indirectly (family or significant other)?

Please tell us about it.
CLICK HERE TO PARTICIPATE

PHOTO BY Howard J. Shaffer -Miami's 5th St Gym, circa 1973. Permanent Collection, International Boxing Hall of Fame.

ABOUT Howard Shaffer’s interest in photography, art and photojournalism spans decades. During his graduate training, Shaffer worked as a freelance photographer. His success caused considerable self-reflection about his eventual career path. Ultimately, he chose a career in mental health research and treatment. Having accomplished career goals in science and academic health care (including hundreds of scholarly publications, books, and approximately 120 newspaper columns that were written for the Boston Herald), Dr. Shaffer now seeks to have a broader and more emotional impact on mental health issues in general and the addictions in particular. Howard Shaffer intends to accomplish this goal by integrating his knowledge as a clinician, scientist, and scholar with his skills as a photographer and photojournalist.

Please visit the above mentioned websites as well as become a subscriber. Working together we can turn the tide of addiction with the right information!

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UNSER SONS: Patterns of Addiction

I came across a website that is dedicated to the study of addiction in celebrities. It's sponsored by the Division on Addictions, Cambridge Health Alliance, a Harvard Medical School teaching affiliate. Since people of fame end up in the eye of media attention and their stories avidly followed by fans and the general public. Where I found this site with an article on Al Unser Jr.

In my studies I find that looking to our family of origin helps the way out of the web of addiction. What makes it all interesting is that I've been studying the life of my friend Bobby Unser Jr. who struggles with addiction and recently jailed for many things due to his Meth Addiciton. I looked at the pattern throughout his famous family, including his cousin Al Unser, Jr. I always figured that being famous put on different pressures which often resulted in some form of addiction.

One article written on June 13th on Addiction & the Humanities explores the impact of people like Al Unser Jr. on giving exposure to addiction to alcohol as well the journey to sobriety. Here is a quote about him:

Al Unser Jr., for example, has generated significant amounts of attention for LIVE outside the bottle: The story of alcoholism in America, a national multi-media campaign addressing alcohol dependence in the United States. Since joining the campaign on May 18 more than 100 news articles have been published online discussing Unser Jr., his battle with addiction, and his work with LIVE outside the bottle.

Recently I read that he he's still drinking. He wavers between the two axels of addiction and his sobriety hangs in the balance. The Cambridge Health Alliance sites another article at this site talks about Falling off the wagon many times is typical of the addictive patterns.

This website is RICH in resources. One printable card details the symptoms of addiction, and diagnostic information. It can be downloaded here: RED CARD.

Another sound byte of Addiction wisdom is an acronym The UNCOPE giving clear and simple questions about how one realizes their addiction:

The UNCOPE is a six item addiction screen. Hoffman and colleagues developed it in 1999. The UNCOPE questions are available free of charge for anyone to use and are as follows:

U - Have you spent more time drinking or using than you intended to?
N - Have you ever neglected some of your usual responsibilities because of using alcohol or drugs?
C - Have you felt you wanted or needed to cut down on your drinking or drug use?
O - Has anyone objected to your drinking or drug use?
P - Have you found yourself preoccupied with drinking or using?
E - Have you ever used alcohol or drugs to relieve emotional discomfort, such as sadness, anger, or boredom?

Click Here for more information

FINALLY...
So many of my friends who were musicians and artists ended up on drugs and some have died. So, I wonder how my friend Bobby is? I know he was jailed then let go and 11 days later back in jail for many things one of which was a failed drug test. I suppose he is still there. I long for the key to be found to open the door to sobriety for him.

My prayer is he will find the way to break the family pattern of addiction by his own choice of SOBRIETY. His entire family is celebrity in NM and nationwide. Surely that fame has contributed to addictive tendencies. Perhaps he will someday use it to help others. My prayers are still with him, his family and those touched by his spiral into addiction with hope that he finds recovery.

Join the discussion on how addiction affects all aspects of American life. Subscribe today - leave your comments. ADDICTSHUN | addictions

As well the alcohol must contribute to Al's physical abuse of his girlfriend... Read here! Time and time again he has fallen back into the mess of addiction.

James Frey: depiction of addiction?

Tonight I was thinking about A Million Little Pieces. A friend brought the topic up as she wanted to give it to someone she cares about in hopes that he would give up drinking/pot. Remember? The infamous Mr. James Frey and the explosion he caused first by his book? Only to be discovered to be a BOOK OF LIES?

So I did some Googling. I found the following blog to be the best, along with discussion about the whole ordeal. I would say that half the people still applauded his writing skill, depiction of addiction and some even stated it helped them get help for their addiction. The other half wrote him off as a liar, fraud and is sitting pretty with all the money he collected from the sales of being in the Oprah Book-club. Apparently the road is again divided between addicts and non-addicts, or co-dependents or "alanonies" ( a term found in the 12 Step chat online.)

Mr Frey still displays a pattern of behavior that fits the addict/ACOA. Lying is so typical of all addicts. It's a shame that he turned up so fraudulent. On the other hand,I applaud T.Stoddart for his commitment and strength to stay true to himself. It's apparent he never crossed the line over to bad character.

James Frey: Liar to Addicts and A-Listers
Written by T Stoddart
Published January 09, 2006

Please take the time to read T. Stoddart's commentary, plus the discussion. Here is a quote:

James did what any self delusional, attention starved person would do. He reinvented himself. Yes, it's been done before, and, sadly, it will be done again. The general public is always hungry for stories of self destructive types, who are able to pull themselves back from the brink. It's a literary car crash. No one wants to be involved, but, it doesn't stop us from slowing down to take a look at the wreckage. And kudos to him for having the audacity to keep a straight face through all of it. I know that I couldn't have done it.

And I, too, tried publishing some of my fiction, only to meet with rejection. But, unlike James, I never avoided the truth. No, I embraced the truth because we all know that the only way to overcome something is to face it head on, not hide behind more lies.

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READ: Key to Recovery

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12 STEP CHAT: Terms of Addiction

are not terms of endearment!
I learned today that certain terms are not allowed in 12 step group meetings, it's a non acceptable medical term not allowed in 12 step talk. I was sorta sideswiped!

when I mentioned co-dependency, I was immediately hushed. cause for a pause. from that point on I was mostly ignored. Oh well! So I asked what term is acceptable. Twice asked to be exact. finally a woman said alanonies... WOW, don't suppose I would ever apply that term to myself.

this woman stated she has worked the program for 52 years. So she still has the need to be in these rooms? if the steps work, then at what point one is free from the need to be involved in support groups? Is this a misguided question?

I notice several things about support groups. They all seem to thrive on each other’s sorrow, stories and issues. Most likely no one gets "better" with this thought process. Some of them actually disassociate with "normal" populations and even consider non-addict's outsiders as in "THEM". "They just don't understand us" was the comment of a man who explained the Celebrate Recovery group at a church. I walked away from that group, astonished at the total control over what can be discussed and what cannot. No interaction, just empty space between the stories. Some stories were decades old with no resolve on many of the attendee’s part.

Listening is the big thing in 12 step groups, but in the chat room all I saw was everyone writing at the same time and not really connecting or hearing deeply. Realize it was open chat and not the formal online meetings, which indeed are quite structured.

These are facts from my point of view on groups. It’s understood that AA, AL-ANON, NA, Celebrate Recovery have help millions of people put their life back together. It makes me wonder what people do to get well on the other side of 12 steps...

Guess it's time to discover all the terminology in this area of study. Oh, others complained about being labeled. I agree with that, but sometimes you need to know what you are dealing with disease or sickness wise before you can find the cure.

CELEBRITY: Sixx: A.M. - Life is Beautiful

no words needed!

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CELEBRITY: Sobriety is cool...

Nikki Sixx of Motley Crew is a joy to see recovery in the world of rock and roll.

Nowadays, he's high on everything but drugs: his kids, his music, his clothing line, his book, and most importantly, his efforts to aid drug addicts. With a workaholic's zeal, he jumps from one project to the next.

"My take is never to be a preacher," said Sixx of his and others' addictions. "I hate that people think it's a moral problem. It's a disease. George Bush thinks that it's a moral problem, and so I'm working with people in Washington, D.C., to help him understand that it's a disease.

THOUGHT: Bail-Outs, Addicts & Codependents

Bail outs, addicts & codependents all victims of the system. Or are they? They are like a spinning wheel with no end.


Co-dependents are often sited for bailing out of relationships with addicts. more often they don't bail due to the overly responsible nature built into them from their own experiences growing up in an addictive/dysfunctional family. it's not that they don't think about bailing on a bad relationships, but they stay regardless of the never-ending cycles of an addicts roller coaster ride. all the empty promises, the repentant pleas not to break the bond.

Feels just like the government having to bail out these banks, most likely CEO's who are addicts themselves-addicts to power and greed. the government gets blamed for enabling bad business practice while the CEO's and businesses walk scott free and tons of money on top of it all. so now the government gets the mess of cleaning out bad accounts, heavy losses while trying to make sense of it all. it's the root of all evil you know. not money but the love of it. i would suppose that the love of anything other than the Creator, ones self and each other is likened to a long head fall into unhealthy addiction.

just like co-dependents. living the days with the ravishes of irresponsible addicts, covering all their mistakes, making ends meet with nary any support or appreciation - only scorn from the addict who thinks the codependent is just trying to make them look bad. again the addict gets all the attention, while the one who fixes things gets dumped on for simply doing all it takes to make things work.

i hear so many stories about the maneuvers of addicts. they get bailed out of jail on their own tearful pleas and begging and tears that they have changed. the people around them help with new places, money and jobs. only to have the addict turn right around and buy drugs, and begin the lying schemes all again.

Just like the corruption in Washington by crooked politicians and bankers...

THOUGHT: The Climb Out

Knowing yourself is the first rung on the ladder towards wholeness.
to climb out of the pit of addiction, any addiction is layered with self-knowledge, determination and the knowledge of others who made it to the other side. think about yourself. What do you know about your limitations? your character? your purpose? what about your weakness? your life patterns? your family history? Do you know your hurts and painful memories? Do you struggle with depression? have you found the root?

Be Determined. That is the second rung.
When you know yourself and from where you came, finding determination to move forward is easier. No one else can free you. Only you can choose to get well. Then stick to it. Allow nothing or anyone (addict friends) to stop you from your choice to become whole. Though none go with you - you must keep on going.

Books are the words of life and this is the 3rd Rung.
You can learn anything in this life through reading books. Books give insight to the journeys, thoughts, knowledge and skills to guide you. Books give encouragement and map out your recover so you can overcome any addiction. Books are there in the middle of the night when everyone else is sleeping. Go to Amazon.com and search for these key words: addiction recovery,dysfunctional family,adult children of alcoholics
or whatever your particular addiction is. Through knowledge is freedom for the Adult Children of Alcoholic Syndrome as well as enablers also called co-dependents.

The Fourth Rung: Journal - Write your way to wholeness
Buy a notebook and write. write whatever comes into your head. write day and night. spill out all your poison into the notebook. write down all your dreams and aspirations. write your dark thoughts. draw, scribble, paste pictures into your notebook | journal | sketchbook. As you write make sure to note the date. Tell about the events going on. Then when you read back through your writings, not only do you discover yourself (SELF KNOWLEDGE) you also chronicle your recover from addict to wholeness. You also have written your own BOOK. Here's a Blog on Journaling

These rungs to climb are not always easy. Yet what you discover is that the air is clear up here and many others are on the same path!

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The Truth About Humpty Dumpty

You've felt it. Your up in life, all is well. Everyone loves you, you feel good about the image you worked so hard to polish and perfect. After all isn't personality everything? The place you sit in work, play and relationships makes other people spin about... Then in a blink of the eye without a notice or warning, YOU FALL. So goes the story of this famous egg:

Humpty Dumpty, who sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings horses and all the kings men couldn't put Humpty together again..

This little rhyme began as a riddle, with the answer being egg. The original 18th century meaning of Humpty Dumpty is a short and clumsy person. As you dig farther into history Humpty Dumpty refers to a drink of brandy boiled with ale. Humpty Dumpty is also notable debater with Alice in Lewis Carrolls "Through the Looking Glass"

By now you are asking why Humpty Dumpty in a post on addictions?

In the wee hours of the night, while in thought about the book "7 Habits of Effective People" I thought about the egg story. How often we polish and decorate our outward appearance in hopes that it's enough to get through life. To avoid difficulty we sit high on a wall in hopes we don't fall. Lacking character and value, we are fragile, but protected only by a thin shell. This is the life of an addict, or adult child who grows up with addicts. It's not until the fall do most ever truly recover. So unlike Humpty Dumpty, those who fall in their addiction/co-dependency often begin to finally see life. With the help of other broken eggs they piece themselves together and find being high on the wall was the mistake from the beginning!

It doesn't take the kings horses and men to put the egg together again. It takes you. You making sobriety happen. You can do this.

THOUGHTS: Out from the garden

Photo taken in Madrid, Spain by Rasama

i read the papers, hear the news, observe how people get through their days. I see arguments between the democrats, republicans, liberals and conservatives. the reality is we are all in the same boat. it's not the label, it's human nature. we are all fallen from the garden. only some of us have managed to keep some of the gardens beauty.

each at varied levels of thinking, knowledge and desire. apparently some of us never get beyond the ME-ME-ME stage and live life totally dependent on everyone meeting their needs, blaming others for all their ills and never truly becoming an independent person. those who are independent often fall into the blame and clutches of those dependents.

i began reading the The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. Actually it's the second time to be read. This time I get it. He states that the most difficult thing people do in life is become independent. Free to be proactive not reactive, to think about the good of everyone in terms of teamwork, cooperation. The most supreme thing people can do is become INTERDEPENDENT. Hmmmm. smacks exactly opposite of addictions.

Addictions cause people to satisfy their need above all else. Selfishly they deny that need, yet manipulate everything on earth to obtain it. Be it power, greed, sex, alcohol, drugs, work, it's insatiable narcissism that never ends. Herein lies the true root of evil.

Until everyone grows up independently we will not see much of the garden at all!

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Diddy: on Crackheads in Alaska

ORIGINAL MESSAGE:

Look up his own self-incriminating video on YouTube. I decided not to give it a link, it so as not to give credit to stupidity. Crackheads and Blacks? According to P. DIDDY who has the intelligence of a gnat, this is his criteria for government experience

ORIGINAL QUOTE DIDDY: Alaska? Alaska? Alaska, Alaska, come on, man. I don't even know if there's any black people in Alaska. If you really think that we're going to let you win this election with these, like, crazy decisions that you're making, November 4th, we have to protect our future because John McCain is bugging the [BLEEP] out, okay? What is the reality in Alaska? There's not even no crack heads in Alaska, no black people. There's not even no, like me.

Glenn Beck tells it straight:

"Oh, by the way, Obama's giving a speech on women and the economy today. But McCain is the one freaking out, seriously. By the way, P. Diddy, I just want to because I know you can't understand, you know, because there are no black people in Alaska. So Sarah Palin clearly can't relate to black people because there are no black people. How many black people in Alaska? Done the homework for you. 4.72% of the population. It is below average. It is below average. 4.72% of the population. That's the population of Alaska. So you were right. There are black people, but it's just below the national average."

GLENN: Alpine, New Jersey. Okay. Oh, my gosh, I just happen to have the stats. What's the percentage of people that live in Alpine, New Jersey? The place where P. Diddy chose to live, but he had enough money to live anywhere on planet Earth. Percentage of black people living in Alpine New Jersey? 1.51%. So that's about 33 total black residents, 32 if you don't count P. Diddy. So apparently Sarah Palin can understand black people a little more than three times better than P. Diddy. Of course, I don't know how many crack heads they have in Alpine, New Jersey. Let's just go out on a limb and say maybe at least one.

OMG! Obama supporters like DIDDY show the crowds he draws. Truly this is race between good and evil!

MORE PEOPLE WHO PULLED HIS VIDEO: check this link out: Diddy - Obama Blog

Peter Pan and the Lost Boys

Perhaps PETER PAN reads more to life meaning than what we think! Are you feeling lost? Searching for your shadow, Tinkerbell or Wendy? Those things that make you feel wanted or alive? Some find it in addiction. The list goes on of what mankind will fill their lives with to find their purpose. Drugs, liquor, video games, work, pornography, sex, whatever vice they find. Many Lost Boys (Girls too!) belong to the  27 Club those succumbing to death through their vice.


Addiction to destructive things makes you lost. Positive "addiction" like music, art, literature, serving others,  not to their own personal gift and art make you found.

I am haunted by the names of people on the 27 Club list. Just look at all the Celebrity Names in the papers/tv/sport stars/movie starts who got lost, consumed then overcome by death with the addiction they worshiped.

Each one given over into addiction... depression  and more. me thinks the answer is to be involved with the gift written into each soul. the key is the discovery of those gifts... what's your thoughts? what is your addiction? What is your cure?

SIN: to miss the mark....

What is Sin?
Don't misunderstand what western christians have done to a word that is "offensive" and misdirected when in reality is not the modern day dictionary term. i am using the term in the sense written below.  Words directly from the Bible unaltered or sprinkled with modern man’s viewpoint. Consider these things yourself. Especially if you are searching for your purpose, or feeling like you just don’t fit anywhere. God's tender mercies are over all who turn to him.

TO MISS THE MARK. We often do miss things and God only punishes those who shake their fist at truth and destroy, kill steal and make misery. To find the mark is be a co-creator of all things good, holy and loving. Jesus came to give life and life abundant. There is an enemy too, who deceives steals, kills and destroys.

I refer to the bolded definition, see more about the original Greek definition of SIN:

    •    amartia - to miss the Mark
    •    agnohma - an act done in ignorance of God's will
    •    SEE: Hebrews 9:7 (Sin committed in ignorance)
    •    SEE: 1 Timothy 1:13 (Sin committed in ignorance)
    •    uperbainw - going beyond the will of God
    •    SEE: 1 Thessalonians 4:6 (overstepping or trespass) in Josephus and Philo lit. "going beyond the head of the risen Lord."

In order to study the definition of Sin, here is a list of Greek words translated as sin:

    •    skandalon - a cause of sinning or causing someone else to fail
    •    enoico - guilty or liable
    •    ponhro - guilty or evil, as a noun one who has done an evil deed.
    •    ptaiw - stumbling or failing to live up to God's will
    •    proskomma - taking the opportunity to sin or cause someone to sin
    •    paratoma - a transgression of the will of God

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StepChat.com

today i joined my first Al-Anon/Adult Children of Alcoholics meeting online at the link above. I visited Celebrate Recovery and other support groups only to walk away with temporary relief, but never went back. Other online chats are usually out of control and allow bozo's in soliciting their own junk. This one is different! It was organized, had greeters and Chairperson, everyone spoke in order and with respect. I am most impressed with the formality and guidelines. The pasting of the 12 steps and the information about the step program. The serenity prayer and moment of silence. In all these points I felt the life of the room - others hurting and wanting answers, those who have worked the steps guiding people back to daily principles and working the steps. this is a positive experience for me and want to keep attending, to learn more about applying these principles and about myself as codependent. As one member said "It works when we work it."

To find out more about 12 Steps for any condition click HERE.

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It affects everyone. Ready for a change?

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Make a choice today.

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CELEBRITY ADDICTION: Reznor Sober | Nine Inch nails

i like nine inch nails. in fact i felt as if Trent Reznor was like a musical Picasso in his work. more and more musicians are seeing the light of being clean. again it points to the cycle of pain, masked by drugs, covered in shame, loss of ability, mask it with more drugs, inward failure when outwardly it appears to be ok. nothing but pure, clean living without drugs,alcohol or substance can give clarity. 

"I can see now with pretty much crystal clear clarity that that aspect had governed my life. I had made writing out to be a terrifying prospect filled with pain and failure and some things that I dreaded doing because I’ve always lacked self-confidence and every other thing," he said, while on tour in Europe. "By the end of my run with drugs I’d also realized that my brain wasn’t functioning right and I’d lost the power to really concentrate – it really made my art suffer, which made me feel worse, which made me want to get high and you know, that cycle starts up."

Source: TuneLab Music

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Source: TuneLab Music

CELEBRITY ADDICTION: Metallica - Sobriety now..

wake the world up with your message james. 

begin with all the garage bands right to the top. we are losing our children, the new talents of the world to the disEASE of drugs... 

Nothing Else Matters!

Hetfield began his speech asking for a moment of silence "for the people who didn't make it, that aren't with us, who could be and I think should be." He recounted the old saw that "dying is easy, living is hard," and offered his own recovery as proof that addiction is survivable. Tom Waits congratulated Hetfield, saying "getting sober's not for sissies."

Five years ago, things were different, he recalled, expressing gratitude to the award-winning documentary "Some Kind of Monster," which depicted Metallica's virtual dissolution as Hetfield began a lengthy rehabilitation to treat drug and alcohol abuse.

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Original Posted By Dean Goodman on Red Orbit, LOS ANGELES (Reuters) Saturday, 13 May 2006

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Five years ago, things were different, he recalled, expressing gratitude to the award-winning documentary "Some Kind of Monster," which depicted Metallica's virtual dissolution as Hetfield began a lengthy rehabilitation to treat drug and alcohol abuse.

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Original Posted By Dean Goodman on Red Orbit, LOS ANGELES (Reuters) Saturday, 13 May 2006

CELEBRITY ADDICTION: David Duchovny

David Duchovny's sex disorder likened to alcoholism. 

Here's the deal. I just read this article 

I admire the fact that he admitted his problem and is getting help. even after stating this:

"I'm not a sex addict," Duchovny told Playgirl magazine in a 1997 interview. "I have never been to those meetings. It's hurtful to my family and if I was involved with a woman in a monogamous relationship, it would be hurtful to her."

DENIAL. First sign that something is wrong. Shame. Hiding.

The ...ISM's: 

Often likened to alcoholism, drug addiction or gambling, sex addiction is a form of compulsive behavior which is sending growing numbers of people into therapy but which is not formally recognized as a "diagnosable disorder" by the American Psychiatric Association...."There are a lot of people who are critical of the concept because we live in a society that tends to over medicalize and which makes every behavior, which deviates from the norm, an addiction or a disorder," Eichel said. (Dr. Steve Eichel, an addiction specialist who works in Delaware)

LOVE is still the answer. Love with guidelines. (see bottom of post)

WHAT'S THE NORM? Let's review history. Back to the garden. Back to the stone commandments. The 10 Commandments cover anything, anyone can come up with to be classified as an addiction. 

The Answers:

And God spoke all these words, saying: 'I am the LORD your God… 

The Ten Commandments:

1. ONE:  You shall have no other gods before Me. 
2. TWO:  You shall not make for yourself a carved image--any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.
3. THREE:  You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain. 
4. FOUR:  Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. 
5. FIVE: Honor your father and your mother. 
6. SIX: You shall not murder.
7. SEVEN: You shall not commit adultery. 
8. EIGHT: You shall not steal. 
9. NINE: You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. 
10. TEN: You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's.

Jesus summed it up: 

"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments" (Matthew 22:36-40)

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CELEBRITY ADDICTION: Fallen Stars of Club 27

CLUB 27

The most notable names of musicians who died at 27 on this list are:

Brian Jones, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, and Jim Morrison, Kurt Cuban

It's astonishing to read the list list of 100's of historical figures or celebrities, musicians who died by alcohol or drug related deaths.

Some interesting celebrities included: 

• Sigmund Freud/cocaine
• Ken Caminiti (Major League Baseball) Cocaine
• Max Cantor (journalist) became an addict while researching addicts
• Tommy Dorsey (bandleader) drugs
• Bobby Hatfield (Righteous Brothers) cocaine
• Frank X. Leyendecker (Illustrator/artist) drugs
• Aimee Semple McPherson (Evangelist) prescription barbiturates
• Jackson Pollock (painter) alcohol related accident

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