12 Steps - Step One Make it Personal

REFINING STEP ONE: We admitted we were powerless over our addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable.

So let’s make this personal. I admit that I am powerless over  ________ and that my life is unmanageable. Now to fill in the blank. 

I believe if we keep our smaller addictions to a dull roar it won’t rise up to bite us later in life. For many it may be the big hitting addictions that create a need by virtue of the substance or activity like alcohol, drugs both legal and illegal, sexual excess or deviations, and gambling. For others it is working too long, reading, watching TV, or talking on the phone in excess. For some food is addictive to the point of obesity, or bulimia, on the other side, anorexia, not eating food can also be an addiction to tossing it up after eating, laxatives and diet pills. 

So today, reflecting on Step One: I admit to being powerless over things I want to accomplish in my life. I realize it’s not so much an addiction but lack of power to control my days. It is potential failure creating unmanageable days. Admitting this is not hard to do. In light of inadequacies, failed intentions, dishes in the sink and floors needing to be mopped, actually changing myself is the tough part! I try to manage each day often with a big FAIL. Now to figure out my aversion to managing these things, and what takes the place instead. In a nutshell, I allow myself to be sideswiped by things that are more pleasant to do. I also confess laziness. This is not easy to say, for I am also quite industrious, and love to work.  

Others have told me I am a Mac Addict. My computer is both my work and a diversion. I work on it everyday, often sideswiping exercise, meal planning, cleaning, and other things that must get done. I don’t always work. Creating art, graphics and writing is the main intent. Email takes me away from my target of work. Sometimes I float from one website to the next, or travel through multitudes of links get lost from what originally was searched for. Often I never get my work done. This is a problem. Again, boundaries and self limits.  

Late at night when I want to unwind, I confess to losing myself in World of Warcraft. In fact when I first started playing that game, I came dangerously close to total ADDICTION consumed by getting my character to level 80. I know many of the people who play WoW are addicts to the point of no social life, no work, only playing a game. Without boundaries set beforehand by ME, this game could cause me to become an addict. Knowing myself and bent towards escape, I “shun” it by choosing NOT to allow it to take over. My husband is a good gage of what is too much time. It's good to think about others rather than being selfish.I’ll talk later about the virtues of WoW and how not to have it take your life over.

Start the first step by writing it down and filling in your own blank. Writing heals. Communication in any form heals. Telling your secret heals many wounds. Now read the verse below:

Philippians 4:5 states: “Let your moderation be known to all men. The Lord is at hand.” 

Easy to memorize. I like that the Lord is at hand because it tells me I am not alone. Neither are you. Start the first step by writing it down and filling in your own blank. Writing heals. Communication in any form heals. Telling your secret heals you. More on secrets in the next post.

I so love defining words, here is the dictionary definition of moderation:

Moderation noun - he urged them to show moderation self-restraint, restraint, self-control, self-discipline; temperance, leniency, fairness. 

Anything in that defining list you care to emulate?

• Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
• It Works : How and Why : The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Narcotics Anonymous
• Al-Anons Twelve Steps & Twelve TraditionsAlcoholics Anonymous: the "Big Book" (The key text of Alcoholics Anonymous)

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