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Wednesday, September 15, 2010

12 Steps - STEP ONE: Reveal the Secrets


SECRETS come to light in Step One.
Anything secretly hidden for fear of being found out is potentially hazardous for you. When you hide your chocolates, pornography or prescription medications, it’s time to take a deep look within. It’s not the cherished, beautiful secrets that destroy. It’s the dark, foreboding ones, you know the kind that make your stomach tie into knots, fraught with guilt and anxiety. “You are so angry!” she said. “No I am not!” said he. A big clue that you have an issue is to deny its existence. For instance, I am not taking too many *Vicodins
I don’t drink too much. I didn’t even look at that porn site. Yeah, right... For once have courage to speak the truth! more about prescription addictions in later posts!


One common thread in addiction / hoarding / obsession is keeping it a secret with everyone else playing the same game. Last night I watched a program on animal hoarding where a woman owned over 10 dogs, and kept adding more. She bought dog treats and dog food before she fed her own family, including 2 adult sons, and her mother. Some would argue that dogs are not an addiction. I agree, but she was indeed addicted to owning these dogs and fear of loss.

One note: These dogs NEVER went out of the house. Her fear was they would go outside, escape and get hit by a car. You can only imagine that environment. Unmanageable? You bet! No one talks about the obvious elephant in the room, or in her case dog mess, smell and total disarray with unhealthy consequences. Intervention by concerned family members and a therapist was the only way to get this woman moved towards self help. Disclosure, unveiling secrets that need to come to light brings with it healing. Only then can the first step be taken!
One solution: Admit your addiction, your sins, your failures. Tell your “secret” to someone trustworthy. *Confess, until all is told. Then the poison from that secret dissipates, with space and time to heal. However, keep the good secrets, secret. 

James 5:16 in the Message Bible states, “Make this your common practice: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed. The prayer of a person living right with God is something powerful to be reckoned with.”
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* CONFESS verb
1 he confessed that he had done it admit, acknowledge, reveal, disclose, divulge, avow, declare, profess; own up, tell all. 
antonym deny.
2 they could not make him confess own up, plead guilty, accept the blame; tell the truth, tell all, make a clean breast of it; informal come clean, spill the beans, let the cat out of the bag, get something off one's chest, let on, fess up.
3 I confess: I don't know acknowledge, admit, concede, grant, allow, own, declare, affirm.
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GUIDELINE RULE: Open up about the things that poisoned you and cause pain, keeping safe the secrets that are treasures, as well the confidence of others. Know your boundary lines. Know when to reveal things for heal and gain, keeping sacred those things needing to be hidden. Consider finding a counselor or therapist to work through your secrets!





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