Re-organization and Blog Cleansing

Today the re-release begins of the series FROM HER JOURNAL on it's own page and tab found at top of the blog. It begins with the first six installments over the next several days. These are the private writings of a friend who agreed to share her other side of the fence experiences in the journey from addiction to recovery. They have been re-organized with minor modifications. Previous versions are now removed from the archives. The chapters in the title make it easier to search for this series.

All other posts in this blog will be updated with the same navigational features in mind, including correction of broken links, grammar/spelling and content. There is also a new tab for sponsored ads paid for by facilities who are there to help addicts find recovery. More informative tabs to come!

Thank you for your readership, loyalty and review of addictshun | addicions. Check out all the links and honor the sponsored ads which brings small sums to help support this blog. Freely comment here, more importantly dialogue and talk about life with each other. the root of addiction lies in hidden hurts and fear. bring light to the darkness of your soul through conversation with safe people. looking forward to hearing from readers of this blog!

Selah,
Rasama

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 Be Sober, Be Healed
 Are you or someone you know struggling with addiction?
It affects everyone.
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 Make a choice today.

Forgiveness equals healing

Forgiveness defined by Webster Dictionary: 

To give up resentment of or claim to requital for b: to grant relief from payment of , 2: to cease to feel resentment against (an offender): pardon willing or able to forgive, 3: allowing room for error or weakness.

Addiction plays a big part in hiding wounds never healing. Childhood offenses, injuries done during adolescence or any pain covered over fester into adulthood. Resentment naturally follows emotional or mental pain. Resentment turns to bitterness, to anger, then to self-destruction and unwillingness to forgive offenders. In addictive families, the next logical step is to cover the wounds with substances. The role models showed that it is easier to slam down a beer or smoke a joint then to talk things out with one another. Substance abuse is the salve that keeps the wounds from throbbing.

HURT, ANGER, RESENTMENT is underneath every ADDICTION. It's the vicious cycle repeating itself. It's a weed continually growing when left alone. "She hurt me, life sucks it's all too much - so I drink, smoke and medicate myself to no pain." No pain, no gain, life stops. That is until the bottom falls out of your life. Is this where you are now? Think about it... Where else can you go? Everyone around you hates the addiction and you have burned all your bridges. Your substance will NEVER save you. Begin by looking deep. You know where and when it all started. Open that tightly clutched hand to see the wound of your soul. Start the cleansing act of forgiveness NOW.

So, look at the defining words of forgiveness. First, find those who you resent and hold unforgiveness. Allow for their weakness and fault then choose to forgive. Don't forget self-forgiveness and pardoning of you. Ask your higher Power, GOD, to help you and make you willing. Holding onto resentment only hurts you. Try to make amends, if not then let it all go. It is not worth holding onto the pain. Look at where you are now. Did that resentment change anything to make the other person suffer? NO. It only harmed you. So, let it go. Be free. FORGIVE. Say now "I forgive myself and all those who have caused me pain." No matter how great the wound. Forgiveness heals.

Share your story, your words are validated here. Everyone has a voice.

Top 10 Addiction Keywords

The keywords below are based on actual search engine phrases according to Statcounter. People all over the world have visted, from New South Wales, Australia, Moscow City, Serbia, Ireland to Qatar and all over the USA & Canada. 
The most popular pages are on Bobby Unser Jr, the letters, anything on forgiveness and celebrity addictions.
1. forgiveness and addiction
2. bobby unser jr.
3. addiction letters to self
4. Mask of addiction
5. addiction and/or forgiveness
6. addiction forgiveness
7. forgiveness in substance abuse addiction
8. attracting addicts
9. addiction recovery
10. sobriety

So if you are reading this now, please leave a comment on what you want to hear, and how I can make this site better suit the needs of the searches. I want this blog not to be just my writing, but comments from those who stop to read. If this is you - just want your feedback, anonymous works here.

between here and there

waltzing concentric circles so near towards the edge of insanity,
touching the rimmed abyss of nothingness.
the darkness calls for light, beckoning my steps.
my feet gently tipping into the emptiness,
this border so thin between here and there.

dancing alone, so alone.
learning steps to keep from sliding off the edge,
clipping him with the precision of sobriety.

swirling round and round, dizzying thoughts flying
overtaken the careful steps. swirling, falling with eyes shut.
the world and i one spinning on eternal daily axis,
between the addict and me.

i dance to the light, tripping on his darkness. he's not
free - nor ever will be until his steps are twelve.

Not my kid... not my family.

IMAGINE THIS:

after a sophomore at Colorado State University in Fort Collins drank herself to death, her family lamented that it was just "one mistake" that killed her. Not so, points out reporters at the Denver Post. They found the personal web site for Samantha Spady, 19, where she posted photos of herself drinking with captions such as "I was drunk" and "Drunkass me". Just before her death from a blood alcohol level of .43 percent, she posted "I'm also going to get extremely wasted this weekend." A family spokesman points out Spady was a great student and a former DARE volunteer, but still insists her death was a "terrible accident" caused by "one mistake." He admits the family had seen the web site, but hadn't seen the multiple photos of her getting drunk. (Denver Post) ...the real "one mistake", then, is not opening their eyes. reported by This is True.

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism.
Carl Jung

This morning while uploading Images to myRECOVERY.com I stumbled across SOBER COACHING YOUR TEEN. Reading through the pages, I thought of all the parents walking through the terrors of addiction with their child. How many nights they lay awake spinning, thinking and praying for answers. Parents agonizing over the behaviors of their once beloved son or daughter. Can you imagine the disappointments, dread and feelings that surface as they get the first call from the school or police? Do you suppose they flounder as to what to do?

Now it’s in your own home! It used to be something that happened to other people. So what is someone to do? Fortunately one can now go online and find thousands of sites about addiction. It’s a daunting task to sort out which are believable and which are not. It's often difficult to see whose bottom line is money from those whose heart is for sobriety/recovery and the addict's family.
Here is the gist of the Sober Coaching website:

Sober coaching is becoming educated about the disease of addiction, utilizing the resources available, such as support groups (for both us and them), avoiding enabling, and setting and enforcing boundaries.

There are excellent resources for parents on understanding addiction then coaching a teen through the stages. The SOBER COACHING angle is something to sink your teeth into. This website contains the steps to take as parent that work. Learning to coach rather than enable cuts through traditional parental knowledge. This concept prepares parents for “fight of their life” in regards to the teenager who is now abusing substances. What I like best is the support they give to anyone who visits the site. They share their knowledge for free, and in my sight it’s worth supporting with dollars and the purchase of their books.

Here are the stages of Addiction with a short definition:
Prevention Mode: All too often parents and even professionals overreact and take drastic measures when they aren’t warranted. If you are in prevention mode, there are some very good resources listed in this section for you to follow up on.
Crisis Mode: Once your teenager has been arrested, precipitated a drug crisis, or some other family crisis as a result of drug abuse or drug addiction, the rules have changed.
Sober Coaching: Exactly what do we mean by sober coaching? A sober coach helps those in recovery learn how to handle all the stressors and relapse hazards of newfound sobriety. Since addicts' lives have typically revolved for years around the maladaptive drug-using lifestyle, they need to learn how to cope with life while sober.

Here are free downloads of chapters from their books YOUNG, SOBER AND FREE and SOBER COACHING YOUR TOXIC TEEN. Other books include: ADDICTION: WHY CAN’T THEY JUST STOP? And KNOWN CURES FOR ALCHOLISM, GETTING YOUR CHILDREN SOBER.

Please order through the site so they get proceeds and support to continue their work. No blaming. Take action today. Buy the book that shows you what really works. Two tracks--one for prevention (your son or daughter is on a troubling path) and one for the young person who is clearly in crisis. A workbook that works!

--

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THOUGHT: forgiveness and addiction

every one must forgive.
as difficult as it is forgiveness is the best healer of all. no matter what the injury or wound, the addict/sinner (please click to look at the definition from original Hebrew scripture) is also one deeply wounded. as we begin to move forward with community, in our families, reaching out with understanding with the offer of forgiveness as a path of restoration.

It's judicial on both sides, a judgment of sorts, because one needs also to admit wrongdoing and hurts as well to make amends. Something most 21st century society is not familiar with. Actually, I find one TV Show that uses apologies, asking forgiveness as well as admitting mistakes and that is BROTHERS AND SISTERS on ABC. It's one of my favorite shows to watch because the relationships show reality and truth in all American Families. It's successful in showing the complex way families hang in the balance between unity and brokenness.

substances being abused will fade with knowledge, love and forgiveness. standing in the face of abusers is not a task easily faced. it takes commitment and unfailing trust that GOD is in control and is bigger than any problem at hand.

jumping out of the circle dance of blame and into the pool of forgiveness and healing. put down the pride and defense.... right now in this present moment this is good medicine...


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Learning from the past

Back in May, I wrote about a friend, Terry, a repeat offender with 12 DWI's. I updated the link as the video no longer exists on KRQE's site. Symbolically it made me think - it's time to update Terry's progress in life, as well as the link deleting the video.

I talked with Terry in October on a visit back home. If the troubles of a year probation and all the junk that goes with it can teach one to turn the other way, Terry has done just that. I observed a tremendous change and polish to him. He's calm, not angry and is working the 12 Step program with a zeal I rarely see in others. His business is flourishing and life seems to be falling in place. There's something to be said about sobriety. I've always liked him regardless of his addictions. We all have them in some form or another. It's only when addictions come to full fruition and hurt others that it's had to see past the sin. Or in other words: wrong doing, error, failure, immoral acts, criminal offense or misbehavior.

Terry never lost his sense of humor, ability to learn and move on during his struggle with addiction. Nor did his faith in God. He also is involved in his musical talent a gift worth polishing. His family stayed the course with him. My friend, his ex, kept a light to "normal" life out to him. Otherwise, he may have missed the forgiveness and restoration he enjoys now. I see the light in Terry and it makes me happy to know one more didn't bite the dust!

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Are you or someone you know struggling with addiction?
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CELEBRITY: Ryan O'Neal bites the dust

Ryan O'Neal, son charged with Meth Possession
Again a parent and child lost to the nonsense of meth. what's it going to take for the scourge of meth to be cleaned up in this country? when will EVERYONE get sick and tired of drug/alcohol abuse, what is the answer?

Of course attorney's have a lot to do with getting criminals off. It still remains the problem of our community. Seems the Hollywood crowd simply wants to skate past the "stink" of addiction...

"It's unfortunate because Ryan O'Neal didn't possess methamphetamine, doesn't use methamphetamine and it wasn't his methamphetamine," attorney Mark Werksman said. "He never should have been prosecuted for this. We intend to vigorously challenge these charges in court, where they should be dismissed."

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Are you or someone you know struggling with addiction?
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Make a choice today.

THOUGHT: The Climb Out

Knowing yourself is the first rung on the ladder towards wholeness.
to climb out of the pit of addiction, any addiction is layered with self-knowledge, determination and the knowledge of others who made it to the other side. think about yourself. What do you know about your limitations? your character? your purpose? what about your weakness? your life patterns? your family history? Do you know your hurts and painful memories? Do you struggle with depression? have you found the root?

Be Determined. That is the second rung.
When you know yourself and from where you came, finding determination to move forward is easier. No one else can free you. Only you can choose to get well. Then stick to it. Allow nothing or anyone (addict friends) to stop you from your choice to become whole. Though none go with you - you must keep on going.

Books are the words of life and this is the 3rd Rung.
You can learn anything in this life through reading books. Books give insight to the journeys, thoughts, knowledge and skills to guide you. Books give encouragement and map out your recover so you can overcome any addiction. Books are there in the middle of the night when everyone else is sleeping. Go to Amazon.com and search for these key words: addiction recovery,dysfunctional family,adult children of alcoholics
or whatever your particular addiction is. Through knowledge is freedom for the Adult Children of Alcoholic Syndrome as well as enablers also called co-dependents.

The Fourth Rung: Journal - Write your way to wholeness
Buy a notebook and write. write whatever comes into your head. write day and night. spill out all your poison into the notebook. write down all your dreams and aspirations. write your dark thoughts. draw, scribble, paste pictures into your notebook | journal | sketchbook. As you write make sure to note the date. Tell about the events going on. Then when you read back through your writings, not only do you discover yourself (SELF KNOWLEDGE) you also chronicle your recover from addict to wholeness. You also have written your own BOOK. Here's a Blog on Journaling

These rungs to climb are not always easy. Yet what you discover is that the air is clear up here and many others are on the same path!

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Are you or someone you know struggling with addiction?
It affects everyone. Ready for a change?
Addiction Rehab is available.
Make a choice today. 

The Truth About Humpty Dumpty

You've felt it. Your up in life, all is well. Everyone loves you, you feel good about the image you worked so hard to polish and perfect. After all isn't personality everything? The place you sit in work, play and relationships makes other people spin about... Then in a blink of the eye without a notice or warning, YOU FALL. So goes the story of this famous egg:

Humpty Dumpty, who sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings horses and all the kings men couldn't put Humpty together again..

This little rhyme began as a riddle, with the answer being egg. The original 18th century meaning of Humpty Dumpty is a short and clumsy person. As you dig farther into history Humpty Dumpty refers to a drink of brandy boiled with ale. Humpty Dumpty is also notable debater with Alice in Lewis Carrolls "Through the Looking Glass"

By now you are asking why Humpty Dumpty in a post on addictions?

In the wee hours of the night, while in thought about the book "7 Habits of Effective People" I thought about the egg story. How often we polish and decorate our outward appearance in hopes that it's enough to get through life. To avoid difficulty we sit high on a wall in hopes we don't fall. Lacking character and value, we are fragile, but protected only by a thin shell. This is the life of an addict, or adult child who grows up with addicts. It's not until the fall do most ever truly recover. So unlike Humpty Dumpty, those who fall in their addiction/co-dependency often begin to finally see life. With the help of other broken eggs they piece themselves together and find being high on the wall was the mistake from the beginning!

It doesn't take the kings horses and men to put the egg together again. It takes you. You making sobriety happen. You can do this.

THOUGHTS: Out from the garden

Photo taken in Madrid, Spain by Rasama

i read the papers, hear the news, observe how people get through their days. I see arguments between the democrats, republicans, liberals and conservatives. the reality is we are all in the same boat. it's not the label, it's human nature. we are all fallen from the garden. only some of us have managed to keep some of the gardens beauty.

each at varied levels of thinking, knowledge and desire. apparently some of us never get beyond the ME-ME-ME stage and live life totally dependent on everyone meeting their needs, blaming others for all their ills and never truly becoming an independent person. those who are independent often fall into the blame and clutches of those dependents.

i began reading the The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. Actually it's the second time to be read. This time I get it. He states that the most difficult thing people do in life is become independent. Free to be proactive not reactive, to think about the good of everyone in terms of teamwork, cooperation. The most supreme thing people can do is become INTERDEPENDENT. Hmmmm. smacks exactly opposite of addictions.

Addictions cause people to satisfy their need above all else. Selfishly they deny that need, yet manipulate everything on earth to obtain it. Be it power, greed, sex, alcohol, drugs, work, it's insatiable narcissism that never ends. Herein lies the true root of evil.

Until everyone grows up independently we will not see much of the garden at all!

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CELEBRITY ADDICTION: David Duchovny

David Duchovny's sex disorder likened to alcoholism. 

Here's the deal. I just read this article 

I admire the fact that he admitted his problem and is getting help. even after stating this:

"I'm not a sex addict," Duchovny told Playgirl magazine in a 1997 interview. "I have never been to those meetings. It's hurtful to my family and if I was involved with a woman in a monogamous relationship, it would be hurtful to her."

DENIAL. First sign that something is wrong. Shame. Hiding.

The ...ISM's: 

Often likened to alcoholism, drug addiction or gambling, sex addiction is a form of compulsive behavior which is sending growing numbers of people into therapy but which is not formally recognized as a "diagnosable disorder" by the American Psychiatric Association...."There are a lot of people who are critical of the concept because we live in a society that tends to over medicalize and which makes every behavior, which deviates from the norm, an addiction or a disorder," Eichel said. (Dr. Steve Eichel, an addiction specialist who works in Delaware)

LOVE is still the answer. Love with guidelines. (see bottom of post)

WHAT'S THE NORM? Let's review history. Back to the garden. Back to the stone commandments. The 10 Commandments cover anything, anyone can come up with to be classified as an addiction. 

The Answers:

And God spoke all these words, saying: 'I am the LORD your God… 

The Ten Commandments:

1. ONE:  You shall have no other gods before Me. 
2. TWO:  You shall not make for yourself a carved image--any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.
3. THREE:  You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain. 
4. FOUR:  Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. 
5. FIVE: Honor your father and your mother. 
6. SIX: You shall not murder.
7. SEVEN: You shall not commit adultery. 
8. EIGHT: You shall not steal. 
9. NINE: You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. 
10. TEN: You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's.

Jesus summed it up: 

"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments" (Matthew 22:36-40)

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Thought: The Patterns We Form

THE FAMILY TREE

the most revealing view one can have is to look at the family tree and the addictive/codependent tendencies passed from each generation. i grew up close to my father the alcoholic and afraid of the codependent yet dominant mother. most of my relationships both friends and dating were a reflection of either my father or mother. to this day, i seem to collect those who are addicted and need a fixer. being a middle child makes it a perfect job. i see myself in both the addict and the co-dependent but after many years of working through my childhood issues, healing my wounds, i have found a normal balance to my life. 

By the Grace of God and principles found in scriptures I have found inner peace, life and hope. Coping is something of a daily discipline to keep on going, keep on bringing this message of life and love to others... Breaking the pattern of substance, verbal and physical abuse takes great courage. thank you to K.S. for a new site to give women hope and insight... 

HOWEVER, it appears women are getting all the support and help to become whole, while men are not... My prayer is that all men will rise up again to their own manhood of strength, being provider, caring for their wives, children and families without fear.... soon!

Interesting Read about addiction: Narcissism

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New Testament: Slave to what masters you?

more about the sermon on Sunday. 

Today, don't turn away from this message or dismiss it as Christian rhetoric. It is indeed the words of life and true change. I know. I have practiced them for as long as I can remember and through some very awful storms of others addictions including my own struggles with sin.

i liked that the 12 steps were reviewed. certainly every human on earth belongs to the fallen since adam & eve. we are broken in some way - every single one. the good news is there is way to live despite the flaws. media, entertainers, liberal thinkers all try to erase this brokenness by appearing on the outside that they have their life together. from previous posts about friends, even famous ones, this is not true. it's a deception to think anyone on earth has answers. 

now i know a few reading this blog may write me off because of disbelief in the adam & eve or scriptural telling of earths beginnings. if someone has anything that explains life on earth better than that, tell me about it. for now i without a shadow of a doubt know there is a God who created this world and all mankind. he is present and gave us the Scriptures to learn and live by. most of all he gave his SON to show us the way to God.

The pastor asked us all to look inside, to review our own addictions, especially if we weren't partaking of the major ones. admittance of our "sin." CLICK FOR DEFINITION OF SIN  A sin is this "Sin, then, is to transgress those boundaries God has set for us or to miss the target He set for us. Scott Ashley states in the website sited " In our struggle to avoid and overcome sin, it is vital that we understand exactly what it is. Let's see how the Bible defines sin."

in our lives we are to minimize sins that have mastery over us. i choose not to be a slave to alcohol, drugs, sex, or gambling. that came from seeing to many others fall into that nasty net of need. i do struggle with other things always working to be slave only to the righteousness of God spelled out in the holy scriptures. 

A summary the four steps:

1. FIND A WAY TO FREE YOURSELF FROM SIN. Sin being a slave to something that ultimately ends in destruction on earth and into eternity. If you are in Christ (being born again by accepting Him as Savior) you are set free from sin. 

2. ADMIT YOU HAVE A PROBLEM. It begins by knowing your weakness and where you are enslaved. Confess it and be cleansed.

3. CONSIDER YOURSELF DEAD TO THAT ADDICTION/SIN. If Christ be your master, then nothing can take that place. Salvation is health to the soul, mind and body.

4. DON'T LET SIN MASTER YOU. To stay clean and free one must turn your life and will over to God. DAILY: Surrender yourself to him in total trust. He is a God of life & wholeness, of blessing and righteousness.

It's all summed up in the book of Romans. Click to hear more about Book of Life. 

"Do not continue offering yourself to sin, but offer yourself to God. Since we are under Grace from God sin cannot have dominion over us.. READ: Romans 6:12-14

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Bobby Unser Jr: Are you out there?

This is indeed tragic. 

What a waste of life from any angle. My God, what happened to this talented man that corrupted his life to the point of drugs,  animals abused worse than anyone should have to see, and a house filled with absolute chaos and despair?

TELL ME WHERE THE PEOPLE in his life were before he fell so far. He most likely has broken the heart of his mother...and despite what people think about it his father as well.

Where is our sense of humanity as citizens in this world to care about society, our neighbors? Does the drug scene carry with it the air of celebrity so much that we look the other way???

We are all to blame. its a total shame on communities who look the other way without standing against this epidemic of drug abuse... something needs to change... i feel helpless to affect any of it... save but by prayer first.

May God have mercy on the soul and life of Bobby, and his family. That the animals left to die would be taken straight to heaven or placed in the hands of loving souls. 


May we all take a SOLID AND STRONG stand against the abuse and use of drugs. ANY DRUGS....I beg that we begin by cleaning our house of all addictions... GET YOURSELF WHOLE and teach others to do the same. 

RELATED INFO:
Bobby Unser, Jr. was the first son of Bobby Unser and Barbara Schumaker. Although he grew up in a racing family, Bobby, Jr. was not immediately interested in the sport. As a teenager he was more interested in drums than cars. He enjoyed racing motorcycles and snowmobiles and then eventually started racing go-karts. In 1976 Bobby, Jr. made his debut at the Pike's Peak Hill Climb with his father coaching him. Bobby, Jr. did not have the same kind of success as his father at Pike's Peak and in 1978 he even ran off the road. While Unser was supportive of his son, it was difficult for him to watch someone other than an Unser win that particular race.



Bobby Unser, Jr. was very conscious of his family's history at Pike's Peak and on the racing world in general. "I used to have these weird complexes that I had to do well because of the name," Bobby, Jr. wrote in The Bobby Unser Story. "My dad and uncle have won so much it makes it hard on me. It's a good name for a race driver to have but by the same token I don't want to ride on it." Bobby, Jr. won the Western World Sprint Car Championship in Arizona and also won the Toyota Father Son Championship twice with his father. 


However, Bobby, Jr. did not make a career of racing. In 1989 he started a stunt driving company called Unser Driving. He has also worked in real estate development and has done some commentating for ESPN. Bobby, Jr. resides in Albuquerque, New Mexico with his wife, two daughters, and son, Bobby Unser, III.


Read more: Bobby Unser - Related Biography: Racecar Driver Bobby Unser, Jr. - Racing, Father, Won, Peak, Pike, and Name http://sports.jrank.org/pages/5020/Unser-Bobby-Related-Biography-Racecar-Driver-Bobby-Unser-Jr.html#ixzz0yxLdnojM

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Salon.com TV on Crack

After all, what bothers us the most about addicts is that they're doing what we're all tempted to do, either once in our lifetime, once every few years, once every few months, or once a week: Give up. We hate the addict because we want to tell him or her, "Suck it up! Do you think I like going to my tedious job every day? Do you think I enjoy reading credit card bills I can't begin to tackle? Sure, I'd love to stay in bed and eat chocolate and smoke crack for the rest of my life, but I don't do that, because I know better!"

again the addict wins the contest, 

consuming all the others around them, getting all the treatment while we who walk the straight and narrow, paying again the price. we are smug about the messed up lives of addicts- any kind whose lives are out of control. glad it's not us... yet at the same time fearful and full of wonder at how we managed to NOT fall into it...

this article speaks truth. it speaks volumes about the condition of our society and culture climate. read with the fear of God and thank him for the mercy shown in your life.... 

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THOUGHT: Addiction means unmet needs

at the bottom of addictshun lies unmet needs. 

rejection, criticism, hurts, abandonment, anger, painful memories the toxic poison buried inside the soul. the substance calms the rage, numbs the pain while the body absorbs the relief.. years of this abuse becomes one with the body... 

more on this laters...

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James Frey - a million little pieces

when james frey was first on oprah

i found it unbelievable that he could be so calm, callous and cold about the "addiction" lifestyle he lived and how it tore through his family like a tornado... deciding that oprah perhaps saw something i didn't i ordered the book. i too could not put it down. reading gave better insight to what the man was about. not suffering from addiction is a gift to me in my life. however; having a father who is an addict and several people whom i care deeply about gave me motivation to stick with the story... WHY do they act the way they do? what drives them...

and yes the LIES. you see that is integral to addicts. they don't know how to tell the truth because the "sin" of addiction is denial. not being able to deal honestly with life or anyone for that matter. it appears that the addiction in james frey life is not yet healed. in fact the lies he was confronted with is still part of the process of breaking down the denial. until he is truly "busted" from that, i imagine none of his life will ever be true.

i don't say that he is wrong to have written and marketed the book that way it was done. I just challenge him to actually put into practice the TWELVE STEPS that he so disdained. I agree that the program suffers greatly from addicts switching from substance to support groups .

The heart of the matter of the steps is walking straight from substance but dealing with life and finally becoming HONEST enough to work on oneself as well as fixing broken relationships.

there is nothing worse than an addict lying to those around them to feed their intense, compulsive/obsessive behaviors no matter the cost. wait... in fact, there is something worse. someone who puts down the substance and never quits lying. who never comes clean with the sickening manipulations and false faces they show everyone because of the addiction never being totally CLEANED OUT...

I have great respect that james frey sat through Oprah's "skewering" as it's been called. I wouldn't have wanted to sit in that seat for all the money TV could offer. yet, he did. maybe he will indeed find a cleansing that forever changes his life...

i always did think that memoirs were slightly "fictional" so much of the hoopla seems out of place in light of the fact that the NEW YORK TIMES was so critical when indeed they themselves have been EMBARRASSED by the same deceit of other writers.....

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loss of self

addiction creates a loss of self identity

the substance an engine which drives the "man/woman" for the fuel. watching from the outside it looks much like this painting. the addict lives in an easy chair thinking things are fine when the reality of the black cloud shrouds clear thinking. dysfuntion is without the use of all limbs and mental capacity to create a decent future, or lifestyle that allows others to participate... the engine consumes EVERYTHING in the path. from the outside looking in, from one who is at the end of themselves with the addict my heart goes out to you and the man dilemna... (man of course being mankind).

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impressed... very impressed.

i found this writing from someone addicted. someone who beat their addiction. one of the worst ones to overcome.

SMOKING. someone actually quit!

he cites an article from salon: http://archive.salon.com/health/feature/2000/02/08/quitsmoking/index.html

bravo, i wish there was someway to write to him.. congratulate him for the honesty about his struggle and writing so eloquently about the downfalls. but he has no email. so i blog it for a quiet and respectful tribute to his victory over all the vices he had under his belt and the wonderful graphic symbolism that helped him through his days.

i wish everyone addicted had the guts he showed to change his life.

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