Not my kid... not my family.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Not my kid... not my family.

IMAGINE THIS:

after a sophomore at Colorado State University in Fort Collins drank herself to death, her family lamented that it was just "one mistake" that killed her. Not so, points out reporters at the Denver Post. They found the personal web site for Samantha Spady, 19, where she posted photos of herself drinking with captions such as "I was drunk" and "Drunkass me". Just before her death from a blood alcohol level of .43 percent, she posted "I'm also going to get extremely wasted this weekend." A family spokesman points out Spady was a great student and a former DARE volunteer, but still insists her death was a "terrible accident" caused by "one mistake." He admits the family had seen the web site, but hadn't seen the multiple photos of her getting drunk. (Denver Post) ...the real "one mistake", then, is not opening their eyes. reported by This is True.

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism.
Carl Jung

This morning while uploading Images to myRECOVERY.com I stumbled across SOBER COACHING YOUR TEEN. Reading through the pages, I thought of all the parents walking through the terrors of addiction with their child. How many nights they lay awake spinning, thinking and praying for answers. Parents agonizing over the behaviors of their once beloved son or daughter. Can you imagine the disappointments, dread and feelings that surface as they get the first call from the school or police? Do you suppose they flounder as to what to do?

Now it’s in your own home! It used to be something that happened to other people. So what is someone to do? Fortunately one can now go online and find thousands of sites about addiction. It’s a daunting task to sort out which are believable and which are not. It's often difficult to see whose bottom line is money from those whose heart is for sobriety/recovery and the addict's family.
Here is the gist of the Sober Coaching website:

Sober coaching is becoming educated about the disease of addiction, utilizing the resources available, such as support groups (for both us and them), avoiding enabling, and setting and enforcing boundaries.

There are excellent resources for parents on understanding addiction then coaching a teen through the stages. The SOBER COACHING angle is something to sink your teeth into. This website contains the steps to take as parent that work. Learning to coach rather than enable cuts through traditional parental knowledge. This concept prepares parents for “fight of their life” in regards to the teenager who is now abusing substances. What I like best is the support they give to anyone who visits the site. They share their knowledge for free, and in my sight it’s worth supporting with dollars and the purchase of their books.

Here are the stages of Addiction with a short definition:
Prevention Mode: All too often parents and even professionals overreact and take drastic measures when they aren’t warranted. If you are in prevention mode, there are some very good resources listed in this section for you to follow up on.
Crisis Mode: Once your teenager has been arrested, precipitated a drug crisis, or some other family crisis as a result of drug abuse or drug addiction, the rules have changed.
Sober Coaching: Exactly what do we mean by sober coaching? A sober coach helps those in recovery learn how to handle all the stressors and relapse hazards of newfound sobriety. Since addicts' lives have typically revolved for years around the maladaptive drug-using lifestyle, they need to learn how to cope with life while sober.

Here are free downloads of chapters from their books YOUNG, SOBER AND FREE and SOBER COACHING YOUR TOXIC TEEN. Other books include: ADDICTION: WHY CAN’T THEY JUST STOP? And KNOWN CURES FOR ALCHOLISM, GETTING YOUR CHILDREN SOBER.

Please order through the site so they get proceeds and support to continue their work. No blaming. Take action today. Buy the book that shows you what really works. Two tracks--one for prevention (your son or daughter is on a troubling path) and one for the young person who is clearly in crisis. A workbook that works!

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